Tunbridge Wells · in person in Hove or online
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Tunbridge Wells
For couples in Tunbridge Wells and the villages nearby who have stopped feeling like a team, sessions run on secure video most weeks, with my room at Intergen House in Hove there when you want to sit in the same space. You can come as a pair or start on your own, and a 90-minute session leaves room for both of you to be heard properly.
The practical facts for Tunbridge Wells
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Tunbridge Wells by car
- About 58 minutes with clear roads (36.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway, 0333 091 0414
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two diaries, one house in the High Weald
If the two of you chose Tunbridge Wells for London jobs and a quieter home, the cost of that choice can land on the relationship.
Perhaps one of you leaves early for the London train while the other handles the school run, a local job or a parent whose needs grow every year. Weekends fill up with catching up, and the conversations that matter get saved for a walk on the Common that never quite happens. There can be pressure to look settled, too. In a town with a polished Middle England image, admitting the marriage is struggling can feel like letting the side down, and you may not want friends in Langton Green or at the school gate to know. None of this means you chose wrongly. It may mean the two of you have been running on logistics for a long time and need somewhere to talk about something else.
Couples work around the London line and the school gate
We begin with both versions of the story. First, each of you takes a turn, uninterrupted, to talk about what brought you here and what you're hoping for, and I won't decide who is to blame. Then we look at the cycle the two of you fall into and practise catching it earlier, with me slowing things down when it heats up. Timing can be the hardest part for a couple in Tunbridge Wells. When a London commute fills most of one partner's week, an evening session on video once you're both home is usually easier than hunting for a weekday gap. If one of you works shifts at Tunbridge Wells Hospital in Pembury, we can plan sessions around the rota. You may want the work kept well away from Rusthall, Southborough or the school gate, and a counsellor on the coast makes that simple. If you would rather see someone in town, The Counselling Centre on London Road lists couples counselling, so it's fair to compare before choosing. If an affair has come to light, we go slowly, and neither of you is pushed to forgive or to leave before you're ready. You may want to find your way back to each other, or to separate with less damage, and either is a fair aim. Couples of every kind are welcome.
What couples bring to the work
Commuting and drifting apart
Long days on the London line leave one of you drained and the other carrying home life alone, and resentment builds quietly on both sides.
Shifts, rotas and missed evenings
When one of you works shifts at Tunbridge Wells Hospital in Pembury, time together can shrink to handovers in the hallway and days off that rarely line up.
Not wanting the neighbours to know
In a town with a polished Middle England image, it can matter that your counsellor isn't someone you'll meet in the Pantiles or at Royal Victoria Place.
Drinking that divides you
When one partner's drinking has become the argument, we look at what it means for each of you, and the Kenward Trust supports the partner standing on the other side of it.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Tunbridge Wells
When drink is what the two of you keep circling back to, the Kenward Trust offers a service called Friends, Family and Loved Ones Support, and Kent County Council points relatives towards Al-Anon Family Groups UK and Eire. The Counselling Centre on London Road also lists couples counselling among its services, priced on a sliding scale. If one of you is also caring for a parent, Imago runs Kent Carers Support across West Kent.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itWest Kent community drug and alcohol service (Change, Grow, Live)0330 128 1113Run by Change Grow Live (CGL). Free and confidential.
- Local organisationWest Kent MindMental health charity.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Release the Pressure Helpline - Kent is on 0800 107 0160. Local drop-in crisis support: Kent and Medway Safe Havens (Mental Health Matters) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Tunbridge Wells ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling in Tunbridge Wells itself?
Not with me, because my only room is in Hove, 58 minutes' drive away. With me you'd mostly meet on video from home. If seeing someone in town matters to you, The Counselling Centre on London Road lists couples counselling, so it's worth calling them on 01892 548750 as well before you decide.
One of us commutes to London. Can we still fit sessions in?
Yes. Video means you don't both have to be in Tunbridge Wells at the same moment. Some weeks you might be side by side in Tunbridge Wells, and on others whoever is in London can log on from a private meeting room there while the other stays home. What matters is that neither of you is likely to be overheard or interrupted.
My partner won't come yet. Can I start relationship counselling from Tunbridge Wells on my own?
You can, and the free 15-minute call can be just with you. On that call I'll tell you how soon a first session could be. Working alone, we look at the part you play in the pattern, what you need and haven't been asking for, and how you respond when things go wrong. Should your partner want to come in later on, we'd first agree how to bring them in without them feeling outnumbered.
Where can family members get support in West Kent when a partner's drinking is the problem?
You can contact the Kenward Trust, whose Friends, Family and Loved Ones Support exists for people living alongside a loved one's drinking or drug use, and Al-Anon Family Groups also supports partners and relatives. For your partner's own help, the free route is Change, Grow, Live, which runs West Kent's community service for drugs and alcohol, and they can ring 0330 128 1113.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Book a first call for one or both of you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.