Hastings · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Hastings
If the two of you in Hastings or St Leonards keep landing in the same argument, or in a long silence, couples sessions over secure video give you a settled hour each week to face it, and a longer visit to my Hove room is there now and then if you want one. You can come as a couple, or on your own if your partner isn't ready.
The practical facts for Hastings
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Hastings by car
- About 67 minutes with clear roads (40.1 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Hastings to Brighton; change there for Hove, one stop.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Health in Mind, 0300 0030 130
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two people, one house, very different days
When one partner has early starts around the Stade or nights at the Conquest Hospital and the other works nine to five, you can go days passing each other on the stairs.
If one of you moved to St Leonards from elsewhere, one of you may have settled in more easily than the other. Or you may both have grown up in the Old Town or Silverhill with family close by, which is a comfort until it starts to feel as if everyone has an opinion on your marriage. Caring for an ageing parent, or for a partner who is unwell, can change the balance between you as well. And in a town the size of Hastings, the thought of sitting in a local waiting room where a neighbour might see you both can be enough to put you off asking for help.
How couples work runs when you join from Hastings
Couples counselling with me starts with hearing from each of you in turn, without the other one correcting the story, and I won't take sides. Then we look at the cycle you keep getting caught in, the point where a small comment becomes an hour of silence or a slammed door. Each of you may have your own way of protecting yourself, going cold or needing to win, and we take time to hear what sits under it. Hastings life can shape that cycle. When one of you takes the Southeastern train to Charing Cross via Tonbridge and the other's work is in town, the week can split into two separate lives, and the rows can land on the one evening you share. Where there has been an affair, debt or secrecy, we slow right down. When alcohol or drugs have crept into the arguments, we can look at what they are doing to the two of you. With the Hove room over an hour from Hastings, we would usually meet by video, the two of you together at home. Sessions of 90 or 120 minutes give two people enough time to finish a conversation.
Pressures on a Hastings relationship
Shifts that never line up
Early starts around the Stade, nights at the Conquest Hospital or a long commute towards Charing Cross can mean days when you barely see each other awake.
A new baby, two tired people
After a birth at the Conquest's consultant-led maternity unit, relief can give way to sleepless months in which you feel more like a rota than a couple.
Caring changed everything
When illness has turned partners into patient and carer, Care for the Carers supports the carer, and in our sessions you can talk about what it has changed between you.
When drink drives the rows
When one of you drinks or uses drugs and it fuels the arguments, Adfam East Sussex supports the family side, and our sessions make room for what it has done to the trust between you.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Hastings
Counselling Plus Community in St Leonards is the town's affordable counselling charity, but it closed to new couples referrals in late October 2026, so check with them whether that has changed. Adfam East Sussex supports family members living with someone else's drinking or drug use, and Care for the Carers helps when one of you cares for the other.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Health in Mind0300 0030 130Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itSTAR Drug and Alcohol Service (East Sussex STAR)0300 303 8160Run by Change Grow Live. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSeaview Project Wellbeing CentreOpen-access drop-in, no appointment needed.
- Local organisationHastings and Rother SamaritansLocal Samaritans branch.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text SUSSEX to 85258.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Hastings ask before starting
How quickly can we start couples counselling from Hastings, and do we need a referral?
You don't need a GP referral, and either of you can get in touch. Start with a free 15-minute call, ideally with both of you on it, so you each hear how I work. From there, how soon we start depends on which evening or weekend slots suit you both, and we'd find a first session that fits around shifts or a London commute.
Is there free help in Hastings if the strain is affecting one of us?
Yes. If either of you is struggling with anxiety or low mood, you can each refer yourself on 0300 0030 130 to Health in Mind, which runs free NHS Talking Therapies in East Sussex. If a row leaves one of you in crisis late in the day, Staying Well Hastings at Carisbrooke House, Stockleigh Road, is an out-of-hours walk-in, open weekdays 5pm to 10.30pm and weekends 3pm to 10.30pm.
Can we do relationship counselling by video from Hastings?
Yes, and from Hastings it is usually the practical way to do it. You sit together on one screen in a room where you won't be overheard. If being at home together feels too tense, one of you can join from somewhere else, or you can come to the Hove room for an occasional longer session.
My partner's drinking is the problem. Will you just side with me?
No. I won't take sides, but I won't pretend the drinking isn't there either. We can look at how it affects you both and what each of you wants. You might also find Adfam East Sussex helpful, as it supports people affected by someone else's drug or alcohol use.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Talk to someone outside the two of you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.