Eastbourne · in person in Hove or online
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Eastbourne
For couples in Eastbourne who are arguing more, talking less or unsure whether to stay, I offer relationship counselling by secure video and in a private room in Hove, about 45 minutes' drive away. You can come as a pair or on your own, and longer sessions give both of you time to speak.
The practical facts for Eastbourne
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Eastbourne by car
- About 45 minutes with clear roads (27.2 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Eastbourne to Brighton; change there for Hove, one stop.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Health in Mind, 0300 0030 130
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Shifts, small children and parents who need you
Younger people and young families have been moving into Eastbourne alongside its long-established retirement communities.
If your own parents live nearby, that can help and strain you at once, with their childcare one week and their illness the next, while the two of you try to keep something of your own. You may have moved here to be near family, or for work at the hospital or in tourism, with nobody close by to lean on. Work patterns pull couples apart too. The hospital on Kings Drive has a 24-hour emergency department, and tourism, a large part of the local economy, can mean working weekends and evenings. When one of you is on a late and the other is up early with a toddler in Hampden Park or Langney, conversations happen in passing, and resentment can build without either of you choosing it. By the time you look for help, you may feel you're living parallel lives under one roof.
Couples work shaped by Eastbourne's shifts and caring
In the first meeting I want to hear from each of you, ideally without interruption, about what has changed and what you each hope for. You may want different things from counselling, and that's a useful place to begin. I won't take sides. My attention is on the cycle between you: who pursues, who withdraws, and what each of you is feeling underneath the row. From Eastbourne, the practical questions can be tied to the town itself. If one of you works nights at Eastbourne District General Hospital and the other works weekends in tourism, we may spend time on when you actually see each other, and on how decisions about money and children get made in the gaps. If one of you has parents in the town's retirement communities and the other does most of the school run, who carries the caring can become the argument underneath the others. If there has been an affair or a serious breach of trust, we take it slowly and make room for the hurt and for the question of what comes next. If a partner's drinking sits at the centre of things, that changes the work, and Adfam East Sussex can support you as the family member while we look at the relationship. You can come as a couple, married or not, or on your own about a relationship.
Where a relationship might be stuck
Passing like ships
Opposite shifts at the hospital or in tourism, tired evenings and weekends spent working, until you realise you haven't really talked in weeks.
After a baby arrives
Moving here as a young family, then lost sleep, new roles and less time alone together, and a quiet sense that you've become co-workers who share a house.
Caring for an older parent
When a parent in one of the town's retirement communities needs more, the load lands on one of you more than the other, and fairness becomes a running argument.
A drink between you
When one partner's drinking or drug use is what the rows are really about, and the other feels alone with it. Adfam East Sussex supports family members in that position.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Eastbourne
Care for the Carers is the East Sussex carers' charity, and Adfam East Sussex supports family members where a partner's drinking or drug use is the problem. Mankind runs a weekly men's peer group in Eastbourne, and Mind in Brighton and Hove has East Sussex services. Staying Well Eastbourne offers out-of-hours crisis support; walk-ins are paused at the moment, so phone 0800 023 6475 (option 1) first.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Health in Mind0300 0030 130Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itSTAR Drug and Alcohol Service (East Sussex STAR)0300 303 8160Run by Change Grow Live. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSussex Community Counselling (SCDA)
- Local organisationThe Old Bank Wellbeing Trust
- Local organisationEastbourne and District SamaritansLocal Samaritans branch.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text SUSSEX to 85258.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Eastbourne ask before starting
Is there couples counselling I can attend in person in Eastbourne?
Not with me, since my one room is in Hove, about 45 minutes away by car. You're welcome to come there together, and a longer session helps justify the travel. For weekly sessions from this distance, though, video is usually simpler, with both of you sitting on the same sofa at home.
Is there free relationship support in Eastbourne?
The free services listed for East Sussex aren't couples services, but some cover what can sit around relationship problems. If the strain has left either of you anxious or low, Health in Mind runs NHS Talking Therapies for the county, and you can refer yourself on 0300 0030 130. If a partner's drinking is at the centre of things, Adfam East Sussex supports family members, and Care for the Carers helps if looking after a relative is part of the pressure.
We work opposite shifts in Eastbourne. Can couples counselling fit around that?
Usually, with some planning. If one of you works at Eastbourne District General Hospital or in a hotel and the other keeps daytime hours, we look for a regular slot you can both protect, and video from home saves the 45-minute drive to Hove. If your partner can't make a week, or won't come at all yet, you can keep coming on your own, and we can look at your side of the pattern in the meantime.
We might split up. Is there any point starting couples counselling now?
There can be. Couples counselling can be about repairing things or about separating with less damage, particularly when children are involved, and it gives you both space to think before deciding either way. If you're unsure, a free 15-minute call with one or both of you is a gentle way to find out whether starting now makes sense.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Book a first conversation for the two of you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.