Woking · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Woking
Couples who live in Woking can work with me together by secure video from home, with an occasional longer session at my room in Hove if you want one. You might be having the same argument every week, or trying to decide whether to stay together. Either of you can also come on your own.
The practical facts for Woking
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Woking by car
- About 73 minutes with clear roads (57.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Woking, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Mind Matters Surrey, 0300 330 5450
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When the Waterloo line runs through the relationship
If one of you commutes from Woking, the London train may shape that partner's day.
Fast services reach Waterloo in about 26 minutes, and with twelve trains an hour off-peak there is always a later one to catch, so 'home for dinner' can slide into 'home once the children are asleep'. The partner who works locally, or looks after children in Goldsworth Park or Byfleet, may end up running the household alone on weekdays. One of you can start to feel taken for granted while the other feels that nothing they do is enough. Woking is also a diverse town, home to the Shah Jahan Mosque and a Buddhist temple in Knaphill, and a couple here may be joining two families with different ideas of what a marriage should look like. Since 2023 the borough council has been in financial crisis, and if that has reached either of your jobs, the worry comes home with it. When the conversations you need have stopped happening, a neutral place to restart them can help.
Two people, one session, and someone to keep it fair
In a first joint session I make sure you both get an unhurried turn, so neither of you leaves feeling talked over. I'll ask what has brought you here now and what each of you hopes for. I won't take sides. I'll be looking for the pattern: the moment a talk about the washing-up or the weekend turns into something older and more painful, and what each of you does to protect yourself when it does. For a Woking couple that pattern may come with a timetable, such as who takes the early train, who covers the evenings in Knaphill or St John's, and who gets whatever is left of the night. If you were raised in different traditions, we can make space for what each of you learned to expect from a partner. When there has been an affair or another serious breach of trust, we go slowly. One exception matters: where one of you feels unsafe around the other, or one partner controls the money, the phone or who the other sees, joint sessions aren't safe, and individual support and a specialist domestic abuse service should come first. Couples of every make-up are welcome, married or not, and when a partner refuses to take part, the one who wants help can still begin alone.
The knots couples bring from Woking
Ships passing at the station
One of you leaves for the Waterloo train early and gets back late; the other has been coping all day. You both feel unseen, for different reasons.
Two backgrounds, one home
Different faiths, families or expectations of marriage in a town as mixed as Woking. We look at what each of you brought into the relationship.
Caring on top of everything
When one of you is caring for a parent or relative, the relationship gets what's left. Action for Carers Surrey helps with the caring; we look at the two of you.
Drinking between you
When one partner's drinking or drug use has become the thing you argue about, or never mention. We look at its effect on you both, and i-access supports family members too.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Woking
SearchLight Counselling and Therapy, formerly Relate West Surrey, is a Woking charity offering relationship and family counselling, and may suit you as an alternative or alongside. Where alcohol or drugs sit behind the arguments, i-access has information and support for family and carers, and Catalyst Counselling works with families, friends and carers too. If one of you is a carer, Action for Carers Surrey can help with that side of things.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Mind Matters Surrey0300 330 5450Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of iti-access0300 222 5932Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCatalyst Support
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS FT Mental Health Crisis Helpline is on 0800 915 4644. Local drop-in crisis support: Woking Safe Haven (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Woking ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling online from Woking?
Yes, and from Woking it's usually the practical way. The two of you share one laptop or tablet in a private room, and we work just as we would in a room. The Hove room, about 73 minutes' drive away, is there for the odd longer session when you'd both rather be in the room with me in person.
Is there free relationship counselling in Woking?
SearchLight Counselling and Therapy, formerly Relate West Surrey, is a local charity in Woking that offers relationship counselling, so it's worth asking them about fees and waits. Mind Matters Surrey is a separate route, an NHS Talking Therapies service that costs nothing and accepts self-referral on 0300 330 5450, for a partner whose own anxiety or low mood needs attention.
How do we start if only one of us in Woking wants counselling?
Whoever is ready can book the free call. We can talk about whether to invite your partner, and how to put it so it doesn't feel like an ambush. If they still say no, we can begin with you alone, looking at your side of the pattern, and leave the door open for them to join later.
One of us commutes from Woking to London. How do we find a time for couples sessions?
We'd compare the times I have free with both your weeks on the free call. Because sessions are by video, the partner who commutes doesn't add a trip to Hove on top of the London one; you only need to be home together in a private room. Should none of my free times match both your weeks, I'll tell you during that call.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Make one call for the two of you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.