Godalming · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Godalming
Couples in Godalming, Farncombe or Busbridge can work with me over secure video, either side by side on the sofa or logged in from two separate places when one of you is away for work. You might be having the same argument every week, or quietly wondering whether you still want the same life. Either of you can also start on your own.
The practical facts for Godalming
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Godalming by car
- About 68 minutes with clear roads (43.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Godalming, change at Havant for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Mind Matters Surrey, 0300 330 5450
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two directions on the Portsmouth Direct line
The railway out of Godalming runs both ways.
Trains run north to London Waterloo via Guildford and south to Portsmouth, and a couple can end up split between them, one partner facing the capital and the other facing the coast, with only tired evenings in common. Other households have organised years around children: the school run to Broadwater or St Hilary's, then the stretch at Godalming College, which takes students from 16 to 19. When the youngest leaves, a house in Frith Hill or Ockford Ridge can go very quiet, and two people who ran an efficient operation for the children may find they've forgotten how to be a couple without them. In an independent school town, money can sharpen everything, as decisions about fees, a move or a second job turn into a contest over whose sacrifices count. Strain like this can build when everything else got done for years and the relationship itself went without attention.
Hearing both of you without keeping score
We start with each of you giving your own account of how things got here, without the other cutting in, and I'll step in if one voice starts to crowd out the other. Then I listen for the loop you both get caught in: the comment about a late train that turns into an old row about who carries the household, and what each of you does to protect yourself once it starts. When that loop is visible to both of you, the work turns to what each of you actually needs from the other. After an affair or a long silence, we go at a speed you can both bear. If one of you works away during the week, you can each log in from your own screen in two different places and the work still holds. If you're both at home, you share one laptop in a room the children can't hear. A 90-minute session gives two people more room than an hour does. If a partner's drinking is what the arguments keep circling, we can name it, and i-access offers information and support to family members.
Pressures a Godalming household puts on two people
North to Waterloo, south to Portsmouth
One of you heads up the line to London, the other down it towards the coast, and the hours you overlap are late, tired and mostly spent on logistics.
When the youngest leaves college
After years shaped by school runs and then the Godalming College timetable, the house empties, and you find out how much of your talk was about the children.
Arguments that are really about money
School fees, a mortgage or one income stretched across a household, where every spending decision starts to feel like a verdict on who has given up more.
Caring has taken over the house
When a parent or child needs looking after, the relationship gets whatever is left over. Action for Carers Surrey can back up whoever does the caring, and our time is for the two of you.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Godalming
I can't point you to free couples counselling in Godalming itself, though several of the pressures on a relationship do have free help. Either partner can refer themselves to Mind Matters Surrey if worry or depression has become part of the strain. If drink or drugs are behind some of the rows, i-access offers information and carers support to family members. Cruse runs a South West Surrey service for when a death has come between you.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Mind Matters Surrey0300 330 5450Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of iti-access0300 222 5932Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCatalyst Counselling: families, friends and carers (Catalyst Support)
- Local organisationAction for Carers Surrey
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS FT Mental Health Crisis Helpline is on 0800 915 4644.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Godalming ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling if one of us works away from Godalming during the week?
Yes. Each of you joins the same secure video session from your own device, one at home in Godalming and one wherever work has taken you. You'll each need somewhere private and a reliable connection, and headphones help. It tends to work better than people fear, though if you can sometimes share a room for a session, that's worth doing too.
Is there free relationship counselling for couples in Godalming?
Not that I can name. The free services I know of here work with each of you as individuals. Mind Matters Surrey, the county's NHS Talking Therapies provider, sees adults whose difficulty is anxiety or low mood, and either of you can call it on 0300 330 5450. Where drink or drugs are feeding the strain, i-access, on 0300 222 5932, offers information and support to family members.
Do we both have to come to Hove for couples sessions from Godalming?
No. Every session can be on video, with the two of you on one sofa in front of a laptop. The room in Hove is 68 minutes away by car, or a train from Godalming station with a change at Havant, so it suits an occasional longer meeting at most. Coming in person is never a requirement.
How soon could we start, and does my partner need to be on the first call?
Whoever feels readier can book the free call, and your partner can join it or not. During it you'll hear plainly whether I have a weekly time that fits two diaries, and how soon. If your partner isn't ready yet, you can begin alone and work on your side of the pattern, with the door left open for them to join later.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Make the first call, together or on your own
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.