Weybridge · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Weybridge
If you and your partner in Weybridge have started passing each other in the hall instead of talking, couples counselling offers an hour a week where each of you gets a fair hearing. Sessions happen over secure video, the two of you side by side on one screen or each logging in from a different room, and whichever of you feels readier can make contact first.
The practical facts for Weybridge
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Weybridge by car
- About 70 minutes with clear roads (57.9 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Weybridge, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Mind Matters Surrey, 0300 330 5450
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When one career sets the family calendar
A Weybridge household can end up organised around a single demanding job.
One of you might hold a senior role at Brooklands, where Sony has its European headquarters and Procter and Gamble its UK one, with calls before breakfast and a phone that never quite goes off. The other quietly absorbs the rest, from the school runs in Oatlands or Portmore Park to the parent who now needs a lift to the Health Centre on Church Street. Weekends that once belonged to the two of you fill up with fixtures at the St George's Hill tennis or golf clubs and other people's dinners. Arguments start to follow a script about who did more and whose plans count. Under the script there may be two people who feel lonely in the same house and no longer know how to reach for each other without it turning into another row.
What happens in a first joint session
At the start, each of you gets uninterrupted time to say what has shifted between you and what still matters to you about the other, while the other simply listens. I don't decide who is right, and I don't keep a list of faults. Gradually a circuit shows itself, the one you both keep running. Perhaps one of you raises something important at ten at night, the other is too drained to hear it, and you both go to bed feeling dismissed. Once that circuit is visible, we slow it down and ask what each of you is protecting, which may be a fear about money or work, or a grief nobody has mentioned. Where looking after a parent has fallen mostly to one of you, that partner can get support of their own from Action for Carers Surrey, while our sessions look at what the caring has done to you both. Whether you hope to stay together or are working out how to part well, especially with children in the picture, the sessions work towards the aim you set. Should your partner decline, you can still come by yourself and look at the part you play in the circuit. Joint work only goes ahead where both of you feel safe, and the section further down this page says where to turn if you don't.
Where strain shows in Weybridge relationships
One of you anxious or low
The other partner can end up running the house alone. Mind Matters Surrey takes free NHS self-referrals, and joint sessions can look at the strain this puts on you both.
Mum or Dad needing more help
An older parent needing more each month. CHEER offers befriending and practical support for older people in Elmbridge, which can take some of the weight off the two of you.
Grieving in different ways
After a death in the family, one of you may want to talk and the other to keep busy. Cruse Bereavement Support's Surrey North Area branch can help alongside joint sessions.
Looking for a couples service nearby
SearchLight Counselling and Therapy grew out of Relate West Surrey and works with couples. Ask them about their options as well as me.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Weybridge
SearchLight Counselling and Therapy, which used to be Relate West Surrey, sees couples and is worth comparing with private sessions. Action for Carers Surrey is there for whichever of you has ended up caring for someone, and CHEER offers befriending and practical help to older people in Elmbridge.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Mind Matters Surrey0300 330 5450Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of iti-access0300 222 5932Free and confidential.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS FT Mental Health Crisis Helpline is on 0800 915 4644.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Weybridge ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling from Weybridge if one of us often works late or travels?
Yes. Each of you can join from your own device in a private room, so a late finish at Brooklands or a night away needn't mean a missed session. Sitting together on one screen is easier when you can manage it. On the free call we'll look for a regular hour that fits both diaries, and I'll show you which regular times are still free.
Should we try SearchLight Counselling and Therapy or a private couples counsellor in Weybridge?
It depends on what matters to you. SearchLight Counselling and Therapy, the former Relate West Surrey, works with couples, so ask them about their options and how soon they could see you. With me, sessions are a weekly hour by video, with the option of a 90 or 120-minute session when you need longer. Speaking to both before deciding is perfectly sensible.
Do we need to come to Hove for couples sessions, or can we stay at home in Weybridge?
You can stay at home. Hove is around 70 minutes each way by car, a lot to ask of two working people every week, so from Weybridge we meet by video. Should you both want a face-to-face session at some point, a 120-minute appointment at Intergen House makes the long drive worth it, perhaps once or twice over the course of the work.
Is it worth having relationship counselling on my own in Weybridge if my partner says no?
Yes. Your half of the pattern is the part you can change, so working on it alone is still worthwhile. Sessions on your own can look at what you want, what you've been tolerating and how to raise things differently. The door stays open for your partner to join later. If you are frightened of your partner, please use the safety section on this page instead of couples work.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Whoever is ready first, start here
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.