Camberley · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Camberley
If the two of you in Camberley seem to spend more time negotiating the calendar than talking to each other, I offer couples counselling by secure video. My only room is in Hove, so you can sit together at one screen at home, or join from two separate places. Or one of you can start alone.
The practical facts for Camberley
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Camberley by car
- About 84 minutes with clear roads (68.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Mind Matters Surrey, 0300 330 5450
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When one career sets the calendar for both
Camberley grew up around officer training, and in a household tied to Sandhurst or the Staff College, the dates that matter are often set by someone outside the relationship: when a course begins, when it ends, and what comes after it.
The partner who isn't in uniform may have changed jobs, friends and schools more than once to make that work, and may only now be counting what it cost. Civilian couples have their own version. One of you might work shifts at Frimley Park Hospital while the other has a full diary at Siemens UK headquarters, and evenings shrink to a handover in the kitchen. Plans for a night at Camberley Theatre get cancelled twice and then stop being made. After a year or two of that, it can be hard to remember the last time either of you asked how the other was doing.
Weighing two lives that have both had to bend
Couples work with me starts by slowing the argument down enough to see its shape. The row may be about the bins, the diary or money, and it often leads back to a larger question: whose life has had to give way, and whether that was ever properly agreed. I don't take a side or decide who has sacrificed more. My part is to make sure each of you is heard in full, including the one who usually goes quiet. If a move away from Camberley is coming, or one of you is weighing up whether to leave a service career, we can use the sessions to talk it through before the decision is made for you. On video you can share one laptop on the sofa, or each join from your own screen if you're apart. If your partner isn't ready, you can come alone and look at your half of the pattern, and they can join later. And if the work shows you'd be better apart, we can make that ending as careful as possible, particularly where children are involved.
What can wear down a Camberley couple
Two peak trains to Waterloo
Only two morning peak trains from Camberley run on to London Waterloo, so the partner who commutes leaves early, gets home late, and weekday evenings together barely happen.
A carer as well as a partner
Looking after a parent or a child who needs extra care can leave little over for each other. Action for Carers Surrey helps the carer, and our sessions focus on the two of you.
Deciding about the next move
A posting, a promotion or a new job elsewhere is on the table, and each of you hears the same news as a very different future.
Drinking between you
When one partner's drinking has become the thing you argue about. i-access, Surrey's drug and alcohol service, can help the partner who isn't drinking as well.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Camberley
Free help for either of you can ease the strain while couples sessions go on. Mind Matters Surrey takes self-referrals for anxiety or low mood. Action for Carers Surrey supports whichever of you is looking after a parent or child. If drinking or drug use is part of it, i-access supports family members and carers as well as the person using.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Mind Matters Surrey0300 330 5450Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of iti-access0300 222 5932Free and confidential.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS FT Mental Health Crisis Helpline is on 0800 915 4644.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Camberley ask before starting
One of us is away on a course during the week. Can we still have couples counselling from Camberley?
Yes. You can each join the same video session from wherever you are, provided both of you have a private room and a steady connection. I keep the turns even, so whoever has the weaker signal isn't talked over. If a course or posting later takes your household away from Camberley, sessions can carry on from the new address.
Is there free relationship counselling in Camberley or Surrey Heath?
The free help I know of in Surrey Heath supports each of you individually. Either of you can contact Mind Matters Surrey directly on 0300 330 5450 if anxiety or low mood is part of the picture, and Action for Carers Surrey helps when caring is the strain. Private couples sessions can run alongside both.
Could we drive to Hove together rather than doing couples counselling online?
You can, though from Camberley it's about 84 minutes each way, so a single session can take up most of a day once you add the drive home. If sharing a room with me occasionally matters to you, a 120-minute session makes the trip worth it. For regular weekly work, video is the practical choice.
How soon can we start, and do we both have to be on the first call?
The free 15-minute call can be just one of you, or the two of you together. I'll tell you honestly when I next have a regular weekly slot, and if it can't fit both of your rotas, I'll say so straight away rather than leave you waiting.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Make some room for the two of you again
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.