Petersfield · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Petersfield
This is for couples in Petersfield, Sheet and the villages round the town who keep having the same argument, or who have gone quiet with each other altogether. Sessions run over secure video, whether you share one sofa or are each in a different place, and either of you can start on your own if the other isn't ready.
The practical facts for Petersfield
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Petersfield by car
- About 71 minutes with clear roads (43.7 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Petersfield, change at Havant for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, 023 8038 3920
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
A small town where your friends know you both
At the 2021 census the parish of Petersfield held 6,638 households, and in a town that size your friends, the parents you chat to and the people you would normally confide in are often friends with your partner too.
That makes it hard to admit the relationship is struggling, because whoever you tell may well see your partner by the end of the week, perhaps somewhere near The Square. You may have chosen the South Downs National Park and a house near the Heath as a fresh start, then found the move hasn't settled what was wrong. In a commuter town, one of you may leave early for London or Portsmouth and get back late while the other holds the evenings together, and tiredness on both sides can harden into blame. Or you may have lived here for decades and stopped noticing how far apart you've drifted. Couples counselling gives you a confidential hour with someone who knows neither of you socially and takes neither side.
Couples work when you share a small town
When we first meet, I'll ask each of you to describe what has been going wrong, and I'll make sure neither version gets talked over. Then we look at the pattern you've fallen into, the moment a small remark turns into a silent evening, and what each of you is protecting when it happens. In Petersfield that pattern can have an audience. You may both keep up appearances in front of friends you share, so the real conversation only happens late at night when you're both tired, and a fixed session gives it a better hour. If one of you commutes, we can look at what the long days are doing to your time together, and at how differently the week looks to the one on the train and the one at home. If the work shows you that parting is the kinder choice, we can use the sessions to do that carefully, knowing you'll still meet at school events and in the shops afterwards. If one of you needs help of your own, I'll say so, and Petersfield Counselling Service, the town's low-cost counselling charity for adults, is one place that person could try.
Where strain can build for Petersfield couples
When every friend is mutual
The people you'd normally confide in may also know your partner, so the trouble stays private until it has grown far bigger than it needed to.
One of you on the early train
When one partner commutes to London or Portsmouth and the other carries the evenings at home, each of you can feel the other has the easier week. We can hear both versions.
Splitting up where you'll still meet
If you decide to part, you'll still pass each other near The Square and at school events. We can work on ending it with as little harm as possible, to you both and to any children.
Neutral ground, once in a while
A longer session in Hove, 71 minutes by car or by train via Havant, gives you a day away from Petersfield and a room neither of you has history in.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Petersfield
Should either of you want help on your own, Petersfield Counselling Service offers low-cost individual counselling for adults, and NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire accepts self-referrals for anxiety or low mood. Where caring for a parent or a child is adding to the strain, carers can get help in their own right from the Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire. Havant and East Hants Mind is the local Mind.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationParent Support Link (PSL)
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258. Local drop-in crisis support: Havant Adults' Safe Haven (Havant & East Hants Mind) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Petersfield ask before starting
Is there a free couples service in or near Petersfield?
Among the free and low-cost options for Petersfield that I can point you to, none is a couples service. Petersfield Counselling Service offers low-cost counselling to adults one at a time, and NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, on 023 8038 3920, works with individuals on anxiety or low mood. Either can support one of you while the two of you see me together.
Is it worth driving to Hove together for a session from Petersfield?
Once in a while it can help, perhaps for a first meeting or when you've reached a big decision. A drive of about 71 minutes each way, or the train via Havant, turns it into most of a day, so it suits an occasional 120-minute session better than weekly work. For ordinary weeks, video from home keeps things regular without anyone having to arrange childcare.
My partner isn't ready. Can I begin couples work alone from Petersfield?
Yes. You can book the free call yourself and work on your own side of things: what you've stopped saying, and how you react when the old argument starts. That is real work in its own right, and video means you don't need to explain a trip out of town. If your partner later wants to join, we'd talk first about making the sessions feel fair to them.
How soon could we start couples counselling from Petersfield, and how often?
Whichever of you feels readier can arrange the free 15-minute call, and each of you can have a short private word with me as well, if that helps. After that we agree a video time that fits both your working weeks, weekly at first or fortnightly if that suits you better, and we review together how often to meet as things change.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
One call, for one or both of you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.