Havant · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Havant
This is relationship counselling for couples in Havant, Leigh Park, Bedhampton and Warblington, and for one partner on their own when the other isn't ready. The two of you can sit in my room in Hove together, a direct train ride from Havant, or join by secure video, from the same sofa or from two different places.
The practical facts for Havant
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Havant by car
- About 60 minutes with clear roads (41.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Havant to Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, 023 8038 3920
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two timetables under one Havant roof
Havant station sends some people up the Portsmouth Direct line towards London and others along the coast, and in some homes each partner is on a different line, or one goes away while the other stays local.
If one of you leaves before the house wakes and gets back after the children are in bed, the other can end up running the week alone and quietly resenting it. Weekends then carry everything that didn't get said. A Saturday at the Meridian Shopping Centre, a home match at Havant and Waterlooville F.C. or a walk round Staunton Country Park becomes the only time you really talk, and the talk turns into the same row. Caring can strain things too: you may be looking after an older parent between you, or disagreeing about a teenager who has stopped talking to either of you. Couples counselling sets aside an hour for the things that keep going round, with someone listening to both of you.
Hearing both of you, together and apart
We begin by giving each of you uninterrupted time to describe the last few months as you've lived them, and to name the one change you'd most want. I don't take sides or decide who is right. I'm listening for the loop the two of you keep landing in, perhaps one of you pressing for an answer while the other goes silent, and for what each of you is guarding underneath it. If one of you commutes to London or works late, a weekday session may only fit by video, with each of you somewhere private. That can work, as long as neither of you can be overheard. You can also come alone. Starting on your own while your partner is unsure is worthwhile in its own right, and they can join later if both of you want that. If caring for a parent is wearing you both down, we can look at how the load is shared and what each of you has given up for it. A session of 90 or 120 minutes gives two people time to be heard before the clock runs out. If one of you is afraid of the other, couples work isn't the right setting, and the safety section on this page says where to turn instead.
What couples in Havant might bring
Two lines, two working days
One of you takes the Portsmouth Direct line towards London while the other works locally, and your weeks have drifted apart until they only meet at the weekend.
A parent who needs you both
Looking after a parent can slowly take over a relationship. The Hampshire Carers Support Service can help whoever does the caring, while sessions give you both room to talk about the cost.
Parenting a struggling teenager differently
When a son or daughter at Havant Sixth Form College is struggling and the two of you can't agree how to respond, the disagreement can become the problem between you.
Joining from two places
If one of you works away or late, you can each join the same video session from a private room, so the work carries on through the weeks you're apart.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Havant
If one of you looks after a relative, the Hampshire Carers Support Service, run by The Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire, can help with that role. If someone's drinking or drug use is behind the rows, Parent Support Link (PSL) supports the family and friends around them. Off The Record (OTR South) in Leigh Park sees young people aged 11 to 25, and their parents. Each of them can be used while the two of you see me together.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationInstil Hope Counselling Service (Havant & East Hants Mind)
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258. Local drop-in crisis support: Havant Adults' Safe Haven (Havant & East Hants Mind) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Havant ask before starting
How would the two of us begin counselling from Havant?
Whichever of you feels readier can ring for the free 15-minute call, or the two of you can be on it together. On that call I'll ask a little about what's going on between you and whether couples work fits. If it does, we look for a first session in Hove or by video. If commuting from Havant means you're rarely home at the same time, a longer session every other week can work better than a weekly hour.
Is there free support in Havant for one of us while we work on the relationship?
Yes. If either of you is dealing with anxiety or low mood, NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire takes self-referrals on 023 8038 3920. Havant and East Hants Mind has a wellbeing centre on the first floor of the Meridian Shopping Centre, and its Havant Adults Safe Haven in Leigh Park is an evening drop-in for anyone in crisis rather than a place for relationship work. None of these stops you seeing me together.
Can we have couples sessions by video if one of us works in London?
Yes. You can each join the same session from a different place, as long as both of you have somewhere private where you can't be overheard, so not a train carriage or an open-plan office. Sitting side by side at home in Havant in front of one screen is fine too. Coming to Hove together by the direct train is there for when you'd like a session in the room.
Will anyone in Havant know we're seeing a counsellor?
The room is in Hove, about an hour from Havant, so you're unlikely to run into neighbours on the way in, and video keeps it inside your own home. What you tell me stays confidential unless someone's safety is seriously at risk, and I go through those limits at the start. Whether you tell family or friends is entirely up to the two of you.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Ring for a first chat, as two or as one
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.