Gosport · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Gosport
This is relationship counselling for couples in Gosport, and for one partner on their own when the other isn't ready to come. My only room is in Hove, close to an hour and a half's drive away, so the two of you would usually join by secure video, side by side at home in Elson or Alverstoke, or each from a different place when work or a posting keeps you apart.
The practical facts for Gosport
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Gosport by car
- About 82 minutes with clear roads (55.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, 023 8038 3920
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two lives on either side of the harbour
Your weekdays may be lived on different sides of the water.
If one of you crosses on the Gosport Ferry each morning and the other's day runs entirely on the peninsula, you can meet in the evening with nothing left to give, and the weekend has to carry every conversation the week didn't have time for. With HMS Sultan in the town, a naval posting can also take one of you away for a stretch while the other keeps the house and the children going, and when the posting ends, the two of you have to work out how the house runs with both of you back in it. Other pressures arrive more quietly. You might be at odds over a teenager who has stopped talking to either of you, or over how much of your time an ageing parent should take. When the same argument keeps coming round, couples counselling gives it a fixed hour in the week, with someone listening who isn't on either side.
How sessions work when there are two of you
In the first session I'll want to hear from each of you in turn, without interruption: what has been happening, what you'd like to be different, and what you're each worried I'll hear from the other. I'm not there to decide who is right. What I listen for is the pattern you both get caught in, perhaps one of you reaching for an answer while the other pulls back, and what each move is protecting. Some of the work is practical. If one of you is about to leave the Navy, or has just left, the household may need new agreements about money, time and who decides what. If a posting takes one of you away, the partner at home can keep coming alone, and we bring you back together on screen whenever you can each find a private room. Starting on your own is worthwhile too, whether or not your partner joins later. A session of 90 or 120 minutes leaves room for both voices to be heard. Couples work is never right where one of you is afraid of the other, and the safety section on this page sets out where to turn.
Strains a Gosport couple might bring
When the ferry splits your day
If one of you crosses on the Gosport Ferry for work while the other's week stays in town, the evening can become your only overlap, and it's often the most tired hour you have.
Leaving the Navy together
When a naval career ends, the two of you have to rebuild the week, the money and who does what at home, often before either of you knows what comes next.
A teenager you disagree about
When a son or daughter at St Vincent Sixth Form College or Bay House is struggling and you each want to handle it differently, the disagreement can start to divide you.
One of you has become a carer
If one of you is now a parent's main carer, guilt and resentment can build on both sides. The Hampshire Carers Support Service supports the carer, and here you can both say what it costs.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Gosport
Some of what strains a Gosport couple has free support of its own. Anchoring Minds, from Solent Mind and the Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity, offers peer support to serving sailors and marines and to their families. The Hampshire Carers Support Service helps if one of you cares for a relative, and the Solent Mind Fareham and Gosport Wellbeing Service can support either of you individually. Couples sessions can sit beside any of these.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationParent Support Link (PSL)
- Local organisationThe Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire (Hampshire Carers Support Service)
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Gosport ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling from Gosport if one of us is posted away?
Yes, with some planning. The partner at home can carry on with sessions alone, and whenever you can each find a private room, you both join the same video call from wherever you are. If contact during a posting is patchy, we don't build the work around it. Once you're both back in Gosport, sessions can return to the two of you on one screen.
Is there any free support around Gosport while we work on our relationship?
Free help near Gosport is mostly for each of you as individuals. If either of you is struggling with anxiety or low mood, NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire accepts self-referrals on 023 8038 3920, the Solent Mind Fareham and Gosport Wellbeing Service can signpost you, and Anchoring Minds supports naval families. None of them stops you seeing me together.
Is it worth the two of us coming to Hove from Gosport?
Occasionally, it can be. A room that belongs to neither of you can make a hard conversation easier to start, and a 120-minute session makes a day of travel more worthwhile. With the drive at about 82 minutes each way, though, or the ferry and two trains if you don't drive, weekly visits aren't realistic. For ordinary weeks from Gosport, I'd expect us to use video.
My partner is leaving the Navy and we argue constantly. Is that what couples counselling is for?
It can be. Leaving service can change almost everything at once: where the money comes from, who is home when, and how each of you sees yourself. A row about the washing-up may really be about that. We'd look at what each of you is losing and hoping for, and how to make decisions together again. If either of you feels afraid during those arguments, please read the safety section first.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Talk it through first, together or alone
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.