Kingston upon Thames · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Kingston upon Thames
If you and your partner in Kingston upon Thames keep circling the same argument, or have gone quiet with each other, couples counselling gives you an hour in which both of you are properly heard. Sessions run by secure video, from one sofa or from two separate places, and either of you can make the first call.
The practical facts for Kingston upon Thames
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Kingston upon Thames by car
- About 74 minutes with clear roads (52.9 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Kingston, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Kingston Talking Therapies, 020 3513 4440
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Riverside evenings, and the quiet back at home
Kingston gives couples plenty to do together on paper, from a play at the Rose Theatre to a walk along the Charter Quay riverside or out past Canbury Gardens.
Living here, those evenings can thin out without either of you deciding they should. Kingston Hospital on Galsworthy Road keeps its Emergency Department open around the clock, and when one of you works there, nights and weekends follow a rota the other partner rarely sees in full. Kingston's shops draw about 18 million visitors a year, and many local people work in them or in the restaurants around them, so one of you may be at work on the late closes and Saturdays when the other is free. Younger couples who met at Kingston University may be sharing a flat and a budget for the first time. Others are a generation further on, looking after a parent in Tudor or Norbiton with teenagers still at home. When both of you are this short of time, the relationship tends to get whatever is left over.
What happens when two people sit down together
In a first couples session I ask each of you, in turn, what you would like to change and what you would hate to lose. I don't keep score or decide who is right. One pattern worth looking for is the one where a partner presses to talk it through, the other goes quiet to keep the peace, and each reads the other's move as proof that they don't care. We slow that exchange down until you can each hear what the other is asking for. Where one partner works nights at Kingston Hospital and the other works days, a household can split into two versions, each convinced it carries more, and part of the work is describing both without handing down a verdict. For video sessions, side by side on one screen is best. If you can't be home at the same hour, each of you can join from your own device in a private space, such as a parked car or a spare room. A 90-minute session often suits two people, because each of you gets a proper turn. If your partner won't come, you can start alone and look at your own part in what keeps happening.
Where Kingston couples tend to come unstuck
Rotas at Kingston Hospital
A 24/7 Emergency Department needs staff at every hour. If one of you works nights on Galsworthy Road, we look at how two body clocks can still share one life.
First home after university
Couples who met at Kingston University or Kingston College, now splitting rent, chores and money for the first time, and arguing more than either of you expected.
Caring has crowded out closeness
Illness can turn one partner into the other's carer without anyone choosing it. Kingston Carers' Network supports the carer, and joint sessions make room for how it has changed you both.
The night out that ends badly
An evening planned at the Rose Theatre or along Charter Quay that still ends in the same row on the way home, however well it started.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Kingston upon Thames
Free and low-cost help in Kingston is mostly for each of you on your own. The Mind in Kingston Counselling Service charges a fee and works with individual adults who live, work or study in the borough, while Kingston Talking Therapies is free, and either of you can refer yourself there for anxiety or low mood. Kingston Bereavement Support helps after a death, and Kingston Samaritans will listen to either of you on 116 123.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Kingston Talking Therapies020 3513 4440Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itKingston Wellbeing Service (KWS)0300 303 4614Run by Via. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationKingston Carers' Network
- Local organisationMind in Kingston Drop-in CafésMental health drop-in café.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service is another option: text 80991.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Kingston upon Thames ask before starting
Do we have to travel to Hove for couples sessions from Kingston?
No. I see people in person only at Intergen House in Hove, roughly 74 minutes away by car, so couples from Kingston meet me by secure video. If you would like to meet me in person now and then, you can travel down together for a longer session, and 120 minutes makes the trip worth it.
Can we get couples counselling for free anywhere in Kingston?
Not that I can name. The Mind in Kingston Counselling Service works with individual adults, is fee-paying, and runs to up to 12 sessions after an assessment, by phone or online. If either of you is struggling with anxiety or low mood, Kingston Talking Therapies is free and takes self-referrals on 020 3513 4440. Couples sessions with me can run alongside either.
One of us works nights at Kingston Hospital. Can couples counselling still work for us?
Yes, with some planning. On the free call we look for an hour that falls outside both rotas, which may mean a morning after a night shift has been slept off, or a regular weekday slot. If you can't be home together, each of you joins from your own device, as long as you both have privacy.
How quickly could we start couples counselling from Kingston?
The free 15-minute call can be booked by whichever of you is ready first. I will say plainly when I can offer a regular slot, and if you both want to go ahead we agree a first session and a regular time. Nothing is booked until you have both had the chance to say yes.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Start with a short call, together or alone
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.