Epsom · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Epsom
When one of you works rotas at the hospital or around race days, and the other is on an early train to London or back at college, an Epsom relationship can shrink to notes left on the side. Couples counselling by secure video gives you an hour neither timetable can claim, with someone who sides with neither of you. Either of you can start alone.
The practical facts for Epsom
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Epsom by car
- About 61 minutes with clear roads (44.7 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Epsom, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Mind Matters Surrey, 0300 330 5450
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Rotas, race days and three London lines
Epsom keeps several clocks at once. Epsom Hospital on Dorking Road has a busy A and E, and if one of you works there, the week may be set by a rota that never quite matches the other's. The racecourse on the Downs has its own calendar, built around the Derby Festival, and a job tied to race days fills the diary on dates the rest of the household didn't choose. The station has direct trains to Victoria, London Bridge and Waterloo, so a partner who commutes may be gone before the house wakes. If one of you has gone back into education on the Epsom campus of the University for the Creative Arts, money can be tighter for a while and the evenings taken up with deadlines. Two people can share a house in Stamford or Woodcote on those terms and still live mostly apart. None of that is a failing on either side. It does mean the conversations that keep a couple close now have to be arranged deliberately.
Even-handed sessions for two crowded diaries
A first joint session gives each of you time to describe the relationship as you see it, without the other correcting the details, and I hold the balance between you. From there we look at how the household actually runs: who holds the calendar, who absorbs the last-minute changes, and what each of you has quietly stopped asking for. In a busy couple, resentment is often a tally nobody has said out loud, and once it is spoken it can be negotiated. Sometimes the strain follows a harder stretch, such as a partner's stay in the Surrey and Borders inpatient service at Epsom Hospital. Coming home can leave one of you feeling watched and the other still frightened, and sessions can give both experiences room, alongside the care your partner already has. If drinking keeps coming up between you, i-access supports family members as well as the person drinking, and our work on the relationship can carry on beside it. You decide what you are aiming for: feeling like a couple again, arguing less, or parting on terms you can both explain to the children. If one of you is frightened of the other, joint sessions are not the right setting, and the safety section on this page says where to turn.
Four strains on an Epsom partnership
Rotas at Epsom Hospital
If one of you works shifts at Epsom Hospital, nights and weekends rotate while the other's week stays fixed, and you can go days only passing in the hallway.
Living by the race calendar
When one partner's work is tied to Epsom Downs Racecourse, the Derby Festival and other race days set the family diary, and the other can start to feel like an afterthought.
Home after an admission
After a partner's stay in the inpatient mental health service at Epsom Hospital, the two of you have to relearn being a couple rather than patient and anxious visitor.
One of you studying again
A return to study at UCA's Epsom School of Creative Business, Fashion and Enterprise can mean less money, new friends and late deadlines, while the partner still earning feels left outside it.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Epsom
The free routes I've found for Epsom work with one person at a time. If worry or a heavy mood mostly sits with one partner, that partner can refer themselves to Mind Matters Surrey, which is part of the NHS. Mary Frances Trust, a local mental health charity, runs Community Connections groups in Epsom, and Action for Carers Surrey supports whichever of you is doing the caring.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Mind Matters Surrey0300 330 5450Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of iti-access0300 222 5932Free and confidential.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS FT Mental Health Crisis Helpline is on 0800 915 4644. Local drop-in crisis support: Epsom Safe Haven (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Epsom ask before starting
Can we start couples counselling from Epsom if my partner isn't sure yet?
Yes. Whichever of you is readier can book the free 15-minute call, and the other is welcome to a short call of their own before deciding anything, so nobody feels signed up behind their back. You'll get a frank answer about when a regular time could start. If your partner decides not to come at all, sessions on your own can still change how the two of you get on.
Where in Epsom could we find couples help through the NHS or a charity?
None of the free services I've checked for Epsom offers sessions for couples; they see people individually. For anxiety or low mood, either of you can ring Mind Matters Surrey, Surrey's NHS Talking Therapies provider, on 0300 330 5450, and Mary Frances Trust offers peer groups through Community Connections. Either of you can use those while we work on the relationship together.
Should we come down to Hove together, or do couples sessions from Epsom work on video?
Video works well for couples, and from Epsom it's what I'd usually suggest for regular sessions, since Hove is about an hour's drive each way. Choose a room where children or visitors can't overhear you. If you'd like the neutral ground of a shared room now and then, we can arrange a longer session in Hove and plan its ending with the drive home in mind.
My partner has just come home from the mental health ward at Epsom Hospital, so is couples counselling too soon?
Not necessarily. Check with your partner's care team that joint sessions fit their plan, and we can talk about timing on the free call. Early sessions tend to stay practical: how you talk about the admission, what each of you needs at home, and what you'd both want if a difficult patch returns. Couples work sits beside your partner's own care, never instead of it. If an evening becomes too much, the Epsom Safe Haven is open 6pm to 11pm daily.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
One short call, whichever of you makes it
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.