Croydon · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Croydon
This is relationship counselling for people in Croydon: couples who want to talk without it turning into a fight, and individuals who want to understand what keeps going wrong. We'd work by secure video, at home or wherever you both have privacy, with occasional sessions at my room in Hove if you'd like to meet.
The practical facts for Croydon
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Croydon by car
- About 63 minutes with clear roads (44.0 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from East Croydon to Brighton; change there for Hove, one stop.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Croydon NHS Talking Therapies, 0203 228 4040
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Two families' expectations, one Croydon relationship
Croydon is an ethnically diverse borough, and a couple here may bring together different faiths or different family ideas about what a relationship should be.
Those differences can surface in arguments about how much say parents have, where to live or how children are raised. Add the pace of a big commuter town, with one of you on an early train from East Croydon and the other on late shifts at the Whitgift Centre or Croydon University Hospital, and you can find yourselves negotiating huge questions in five spare minutes at the end of the day. A protected hour, with someone outside both families helping you hear each other, can make room for those conversations.
Making room for both of you, and both families
In the first session I want to hear each of you describe the problem in your own words, because each of you sees it from your own side, and both versions matter. I won't take sides, and I won't assume one culture's idea of a good relationship is the right one for you. What I'm looking for is the cycle: what one of you does that the other experiences as criticism or withdrawal, and what happens next. Once we can see it, we can slow it down. I'll usually ask each of you what a good partnership looked like in the home you grew up in, and where your life in Croydon, with early trains, late shifts and family close by or far away, has pulled you from that picture. Where there's been an affair or a serious breach of trust, we take it at a pace both of you can bear. If one of you is also caring for a relative, we make room for what that takes out of the relationship. You can come as a married couple, an unmarried or same-sex couple, or alone. Sessions of 90 and 120 minutes are there when an hour feels too short for two people.
What couples in Croydon may want to talk about
Family expectations pulling you apart
In a borough as diverse as Croydon, parents, in-laws or community hopes that one of you feels bound by and the other feels shut out by.
Opposite shifts, little overlap
One of you out early from East Croydon, the other finishing late at the Whitgift Centre or Croydon University Hospital, and only minutes left to settle everything.
Caring for someone together
When one of you looks after a relative and the relationship gets what's left. Carers First Croydon on George Street and Mind in Croydon's carers' services can help too.
When alcohol starts the arguments
One partner's drinking or drug use sets off the rows, and the other is left covering for it. CGL Croydon supports families and friends alongside our sessions.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Croydon
Croydon's drug and alcohol service also supports the families and friends of people who drink or use, through CGL Croydon, and Al-Anon Family Groups help anyone affected by someone else's drinking. Mind in Croydon's carers' services offer carers' counselling and mental health support for carers, and Carers First Croydon runs the Croydon Carers Support Centre at 24 George Street. Each of these can sit alongside our sessions.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Croydon NHS Talking Therapies0203 228 4040Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itCroydon Integrated Recovery Service (Drug and Alcohol Service - Croydon)0300 123 9288Run by Change Grow Live (CGL). Free and confidential.
- Local organisationMind in Croydon carers' services
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service (SLaM) is another option: WhatsApp 0303 330 1511 or text 80991.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Croydon ask before starting
Do we have to travel to Hove for couples sessions from Croydon?
No. Most of the work can happen by secure video, with the two of you together in front of one screen. For a session in the room, it's about 63 minutes by car, or a direct train from East Croydon to Brighton and on to Hove. You could choose an occasional longer session in the room, with video in between.
What free support in Croydon could sit alongside couples work?
If anxiety or low mood is affecting either of you, Croydon NHS Talking Therapies is free and you can self-refer on 0203 228 4040. Where someone's drinking or drug use is involved, the Croydon Integrated Recovery Service supports family and friends too, and Al-Anon Family Groups has a national helpline and local groups for people affected by a loved one's drinking.
We come from different cultures. Can you help with that?
Yes. I won't push one set of values on you. We'd look at what each of you was raised to expect, where those expectations clash, and what the two of you want to keep, adapt or let go of as a couple. Sometimes it helps to name what loyalty to family feels like for each of you before trying to solve anything.
How do we start relationship counselling from Croydon?
Book the free 15-minute call, whichever of you feels ready first. On it you can tell me in a few sentences what has brought you to this point, I'll explain how couples sessions run, and agree whether to start together or with one of you. Then we fix a regular time that fits around both your working days, whether you commute from East Croydon or work locally.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Find out whether we could work together
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.