Bromley · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Bromley
Relationship counselling with me is for Bromley couples who want to stop going round in circles, and for anyone who wants to work on a relationship alone. You'd usually join me together on secure video from your own sofa, and come down to my room in Hove only now and then. Sessions of 90 or 120 minutes give two people time to speak.
The practical facts for Bromley
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Bromley by car
- About 75 minutes with clear roads (50.3 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Bromley South, change at London Victoria for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Bromley Talking Therapies, 0300 003 3000
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When everyone else in the house comes first
It's easy for a relationship to end up with whatever's left over.
There may be children to get to school and clubs, and one or both of you on a train to Victoria or Blackfriars before eight. Weekends go on the High Street, a trip to The Glades or a match at Hayes Lane. A couple can go a long time like that without a conversation that isn't about logistics, and when one finally happens it can arrive as a row. If one of you is also looking after an older parent in Bickley or Hayes, there's another layer: resentment that one of you does more, guilt about feeling it, and no time to talk it through. Couples counselling gives you a regular hour that is about the two of you.
What a couples session with me looks like
We start with what each of you hopes for, said out loud in front of the other, which can be harder than it sounds. I'll also ask how you met, what used to work and when things began to change. After that, sessions follow whatever is live that week: the argument on Sunday night, the silence since, the thing neither of you has said. My part is to keep things fair, and slow enough that I can point out the moment one of you stops listening because you feel accused. For a Bromley couple, some of the strain may come from outside the relationship. If one of you is the person a parent rings first, we look at how that load is shared and what each of you has stopped saying about it. If one of you is on the Victoria or Blackfriars train most days, we look at what the other is holding at home meanwhile. You don't have to come in wanting to stay together. We can work on separating with as little harm to your children as possible, or on deciding carefully whether there's still something to build on. If your partner isn't ready, you can come on your own.
What Bromley couples might bring
Conversations reduced to the rota
Lifts, bills and who's collecting whom, all fitted round a train to Victoria or Blackfriars, and months without a real conversation between the two of you.
Becoming parents changed things
Children have rearranged the relationship. Bromley Y supports parents with a child's emotional wellbeing; with me we look at what the change has done to the two of you.
Caring for a relative
When one of you looks after a parent, resentment and guilt can build quietly on both sides. Bromley Well supports unpaid adult carers, and that can run alongside our sessions.
Deciding whether to stay
When you're not sure the relationship has a future, a 120-minute session, on video or in the Hove room 75 minutes' drive away, gives you time to look at it properly.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Bromley
Relate (Bromley), which trades as Relate London South East, is a local option for relationship and family support. If one of you is looking after an adult relative, Bromley Well supports unpaid adult carers, and Bromley Y helps children, young people and parents with emotional wellbeing. Any of these can run alongside couples sessions with me.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Bromley Talking Therapies0300 003 3000Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itChange Grow Live (CGL) Bromley Drug and Alcohol Service020 8289 1999Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSouth East London MindMental health charity.
- Local organisationAccessible Counselling and Therapy (ACT)Low-cost or fee-paying.
- Local organisationBromley and Orpington SamaritansLocal Samaritans branch.
- Local organisationBromley Mental Health HubBorough-wide single point of access for adult mental health.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis WhatsApp Service () is another option: WhatsApp 0303 330 1511.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Bromley ask before starting
How do we start couples counselling from Bromley?
One of you, or both together, books the free 15-minute call. I'll ask a little about what's happening and explain how sessions work, and you can ask anything you like. If you want to go ahead, we set a regular time that fits both diaries, and the first full session is mostly about hearing each of you.
Can Bromley couples have sessions together on video?
Yes, and given the room is about 75 minutes away in Hove, it's usually the practical choice. You sit together in front of one screen, somewhere private, and the session follows the same shape as one in the room. If you live apart or work in different places, you can each join from your own device.
Is there a Relate service for Bromley?
Yes. Relate (Bromley) trades as Relate London South East and offers relationship support locally. You might choose Relate, or a private couples counsellor because you want a particular approach or someone from outside the area. Either is a reasonable choice, and the free call with me is a chance to see whether I suit you both.
Is there support in Bromley if my partner drinks or uses drugs?
Yes. CGL Bromley offers family and carer support as part of the borough's drug and alcohol service, and Families Anonymous is listed in Bromley Council's directory of local organisations. In couples or individual sessions with me we can look at how it's affecting you both, without blame and at whatever stage things have reached.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Book a first call, together or alone
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.