Wandsworth · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Wandsworth
If you and your partner in Wandsworth keep having the same argument, or have stopped having any at all, relationship counselling gives you an hour with someone who belongs to neither side. We'd meet by secure video, sitting together or joining from two places, and either of you is welcome to start alone.
The practical facts for Wandsworth
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Wandsworth by car
- About 81 minutes with clear roads (58.7 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Wandsworth Town, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Wandsworth Talking Therapies, 0203 513 6264
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When a Wandsworth couple barely overlaps
A couple in Wandsworth can share a flat on East Hill or a house in the Toast Rack and still barely meet in daylight.
One of you may leave Wandsworth Town for Waterloo before the other wakes, and a weekend walk across Wandsworth Common or round King George's Park becomes the only real conversation of the week. Other strains are quieter. A parent who now needs looking after can turn one partner into a carer without anyone ever deciding it. Money worries get carried separately because saying them aloud starts a row. And with HMP Wandsworth in the borough, a couple may be working out how to share a home again after a sentence, with roles, trust and the household all changed in the meantime. Any of these can make it hard to hear each other, even when the relationship underneath is sound.
Hearing both sides without keeping score
I want to hear from both of you, one at a time, about what has brought you to this point and what you'd most like to change. I won't pick a winner. Mostly I'm listening for the loop that catches you both, where a small complaint lands as an accusation, the reply sounds like another accusation, and soon you're in an argument you could both recite word for word. Naming that loop together comes before any talk of who started it. From there the work follows what is actually happening in your house. If one of you has become a carer, for a parent or for the other, we make room for the grief and resentment that can come with it, and Wandsworth Carers' Centre can support the carer between sessions. If one of you has come home from prison, we look at how decisions, money and closeness are shared now, at a speed that doesn't force either of you. If drinking or drug use runs through the arguments, we talk about it openly, and the partner living with it can get help of their own through Substance Misuse Carer Support. Coming alone is fine too, and we can work on your side of the loop while the other person decides whether to join.
What a Wandsworth couple might be carrying
A parent who now needs looking after
Caring for an ageing parent can quietly rewrite who does what at home. Wandsworth Carers' Centre supports the partner doing the caring, and joint sessions let you both say what it has cost.
Home again after HMP Wandsworth
A sentence ends and a household has to be rebuilt: who decides, who earns, whether trust can return. Sessions give each of you space to say what the time apart was like.
Grieving differently under one roof
After a death, one of you wants to talk and the other goes quiet. Wandsworth Bereavement Service can support each of you, and joint sessions make room for both ways of grieving.
Living apart for now
If you've separated for a while, or one of you is staying elsewhere, you can each join from a separate screen, with nobody making the 81-minute drive to Hove.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Wandsworth
Wandsworth Carers' Centre and its Substance Misuse Carer Support can help one partner in their own right, and Wandsworth Bereavement Service supports either of you after a death. Where one of you is struggling personally with anxiety or low mood, Wandsworth Talking Therapies takes self-referrals. If either of you reaches a crisis point, Tooting Recovery Café, run by Hestia, is among the urgent options the local NHS trust lists. None of these stops you coming to couples sessions.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Wandsworth Talking Therapies0203 513 6264Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itWandsworth Community Drug and Alcohol Service (WCDAS)020 3228 1777Free and confidential.
- Local organisationWandsworth Carers' Centre
- Local organisationAllkind
- Local organisationWandsworth Emotional Wellbeing Service (Together for Mental Wellbeing)Community emotional wellbeing support for adults.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service is another option: text 80991 or WhatsApp 0303 330 1511. Local drop-in crisis support: Tooting Recovery Café (Hestia) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Wandsworth ask before starting
Can we get couples counselling free anywhere in Wandsworth?
Not that I can point you to with confidence. The free help locally supports one partner at a time. Wandsworth Carers' Centre is there for someone caring for a relative, and its Substance Misuse Carer Support is for partners of people who drink or use drugs. For either partner's anxiety or low mood, Wandsworth Talking Therapies takes self-referrals on 0203 513 6264. Couples work with me is private and can sit beside any of them.
If one of us lives in Southfields and the other is staying elsewhere, can we still do couples sessions together?
Yes. Each of you joins the same video session from your own device, and I can see and hear you both. That can suit a couple taking a break, or one partner who is away for a while. We'd agree at the start how to keep the hour fair when you aren't in one room, and either of you can ask for a pause.
My partner is due home from HMP Wandsworth. Could couples counselling help us adjust?
It can give you both somewhere to talk about what the time apart changed, including things that feel too loaded for the kitchen table. I'm independent of the prison, and what each of you tells me is kept private, apart from the rare safety exceptions I set out at the start. Before booking anything joint, please read the section on this page for anyone afraid of their partner, if that applies to either of you.
How quickly could we start couples counselling from Wandsworth if my partner isn't sure?
Whoever is readier can ring for the free 15-minute call, and you'll hear straight away which weekly times I have open. If your partner isn't ready, start on your own. Looking at your side of the pattern is worthwhile by itself, and if they decide to join later, we can talk about how to bring them in fairly.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
A first conversation for the two of you, or just you
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.