Clapham · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Clapham
This is for couples in Clapham, and for anyone whose relationship there has started to hurt. We meet by secure video, the two of you on one screen, or occasionally in my Hove room. You can also come on your own if your partner isn't ready yet.
The practical facts for Clapham
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Clapham by car
- About 84 minutes with clear roads (50.0 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Clapham High Street, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Lambeth Talking Therapies, 020 3228 6747
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Full diaries and little time alone
Being a couple in Clapham can mean a lot of plans and not much time that belongs to the two of you.
Weekends fill up with friends on the Common and birthdays along Clapham High Street, evenings disappear around Venn Street, and there's very little left over for talking about anything that matters. If one or both of you came here from Australia or elsewhere, the relationship may be carrying more than usual: no parents nearby to lean on, a running question about whether to stay or go back, and holidays split between two families on opposite sides of the world. Commuting on the Northern line or through Clapham Junction can leave you passing each other in the doorway. When a relationship goes without proper attention for a while, small resentments can stack up quietly, and that is something you can look at together.
Couples sessions, step by step
In a first session I want to hear from each of you, carefully enough that nobody feels outvoted. I'll ask what has brought you here now and what each of you would like to be different. I won't take sides or decide who is to blame. We look instead at the cycle you get caught in, such as a remark about the washing up turning into a fight about respect, or one of you pressing while the other goes quiet. Once you can both see it, we practise slowing it down in the session itself. Your own version of that cycle may have a Clapham shape to it: one of you on the Northern line before the other is awake, weekends promised to friends before the two of you have talked, or one partner's family in Australia while the other's is much closer. Those pressures get named in the room, without either of you being made the problem. Video brings its own practical question, which is where you can talk freely, so if you share a flat we plan a time when it's just the two of you. If an affair or a hidden debt has broken trust, we take it at a pace both of you can stand. Same-sex, mixed and every other kind of couple is welcome, and so is anyone coming alone to work on their side of things.
Patterns you might recognise
Passing each other at Clapham Junction
One of you leaves before the other is up, the other gets back late through Clapham Junction, and real conversation gets squeezed out of the week.
Stay in London or go home
One of you wants to settle here and the other wants to move back, and every option seems to mean someone loses.
When drinking comes between you
One partner's drinking or drug use has become the thing you can't discuss calmly. Carers' Hub Lambeth runs a Substance Misuse Carers service for the partner affected.
Grieving as a couple
A death that hits you both differently, so the distance between you grows. Cruse Bereavement Support, Lambeth can support either of you alongside couples sessions.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Clapham
On the Lambeth side, if one partner's drinking or drug use is part of the strain, Carers' Hub Lambeth runs a Substance Misuse Carers service, and the Lambeth Drug and Alcohol Service supports families too. After a death, Cruse Bereavement Support, Lambeth is there for either of you. Couples whose address is in Wandsworth, near the Common, fall under Wandsworth's services instead of the Lambeth ones on this page, so ask your GP which apply. Any of these can run alongside couples work.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Lambeth Talking Therapies020 3228 6747Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itLambeth Drug and Alcohol Service020 3228 1500Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSouth East London Mind (SEL Mind), Lambeth servicesMental health charity.
- Local organisationCarers' Hub Lambeth: Substance Misuse Carers service
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service (SLaM) is another option: WhatsApp 0303 330 1511 or text 80991.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Clapham ask before starting
Can we have couples therapy online from Clapham?
Yes, and from Clapham it's the most practical way. You sit together in front of one screen in a room where you won't be overheard, and I can see and hear you both. If home feels too charged for difficult conversations, an occasional longer session in Hove gives you neutral ground.
Is there free relationship counselling in Lambeth?
None of the free Lambeth services I can name here is a couples service. If anxiety or low mood is affecting either of you, Lambeth Talking Therapies takes self-referrals on 020 3228 6747. If a partner's drinking is the issue, Carers' Hub Lambeth and the Lambeth Drug and Alcohol Service both support family members. Those cover Lambeth addresses only; on the Wandsworth side your GP can name the local equivalents. The Awareness Centre in Clapham offers low-cost therapy with trainee therapists.
How do we start couples counselling from Clapham if only one of us is ready?
Book the free 15-minute call, together or on your own. If your partner isn't ready, come alone: looking at how you respond, what you need and what you're no longer willing to accept is worth doing for its own sake. If they decide later that they'd like to be involved, we can talk about the fairest way to bring them in.
We're an Australian and British couple torn about where to live. Can couples therapy help?
It can give the decision some room. Staying in London or moving across the world touches careers, family, children and who gives up what. In sessions we slow the conversation down so each of you can say what you want, and what you're afraid of losing, without it becoming a contest, and the decision about where to live stays with the two of you.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Have the first conversation together
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.