Chatham · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Chatham
When the same row keeps replaying in your Chatham home, or the arguing has given way to silence, couples counselling by secure video gives the two of you an hour to look at it together. Hove is 88 minutes away by car, so sessions from Chatham are usually online, either together at home or each joining from a different room or town. You can also start on your own.
The practical facts for Chatham
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Chatham by car
- About 88 minutes with clear roads (73.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Chatham, change at London Bridge for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway, 0333 091 0414
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Army hours, London trains and a tight budget
A Chatham week can pull a couple in different directions.
One of you might catch the high-speed train to St Pancras, two an hour from Chatham station, while the other works in the town centre or at the Pentagon Shopping Centre. If one of you is with the Royal Engineers at Brompton Barracks, service life can leave the other running the household alone for stretches. If you met as students at the University of Greenwich Medway Campus, the relationship may still be young and the shared flat very small. And in the parts of central Chatham ranked among England's most deprived neighbourhoods, an argument about a bill is rarely only about the bill. By the evening there's often little left over for listening, so the important conversations get put off or happen at midnight. Couples counselling gives you a fixed hour each week to hear each other properly, with someone from outside the Medway Towns helping.
What couples work looks like from the Medway Towns
Both of you get an equal share of each hour, and rather than judging who fired the first shot, I help you spot the cycle that keeps replaying in your Chatham home. That might be one partner who pursues and one who withdraws, a row that always lands on money, or resentment about how much time one of you spends away. If one of you serves at Brompton Barracks, we can talk about what absence and return do to a household, and how roles shift each time someone comes home. If you moved to Chatham for work or study and left your families elsewhere, there may be nobody nearby to take the pressure off, and that's worth naming. Sometimes one partner's drinking sits at the centre. When that happens, the worried partner can lean on RIVER family and friends support from The Forward Trust and Open Road, and our couples work carries on alongside it. If only one of you wants to come, you can begin alone and look at your own side of things. Joint sessions depend on both partners feeling safe, so if your partner frightens you, the page's safety section is where to turn before anything else.
Strains that follow Chatham couples home
When one of you serves
Life around Brompton Barracks and the Royal Engineers can mean stretches apart, then a homecoming that unsettles the routine the other partner built while alone.
Opposite ends of the line
One of you on the train to Victoria or St Pancras, the other working in Chatham all day, and the only hour you overlap is tired and late.
Shortage and blame
If money is tight, as it is in parts of Luton and The Brook, a single bill or debt can end up carrying every other disagreement between you.
When the worry is their drinking
RIVER family and friends support, from The Forward Trust and Open Road, helps partners of someone who is drinking or using drugs, alongside the couples work we do.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Chatham
Each of you can also use free help across Medway. A partner anxious about drink or drugs can turn to RIVER family and friends support from The Forward Trust and Open Road, with daily RIVER provision at 411 High Street. MEGAN CIC runs peer groups at The Magpie Centre for anyone 17 or over. Should anxiety or a heavy mood be weighing on one of you, the free NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway service can be contacted by either of you directly.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itMedway (RIVER) Treatment and Recovery Service0300 123 1560Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSamaritans of Medway, Gravesham and SwaleLocal Samaritans branch.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Chatham ask before starting
Could the two of us see you face to face, coming from the Medway Towns?
Meeting in person means coming to Intergen House in Hove, about 88 minutes' drive from Chatham, or a train that changes at London Bridge. Weekly sessions from Chatham are usually far easier by secure video, and an occasional longer meeting in Hove can be planned if you'd both value sitting in one room with me.
Can we do couples therapy by video if one of us works away from Chatham?
Yes. Each of you joins from your own private space, one at home in Chatham and the other wherever work has taken them, and the three of us meet on screen. Steady connections and headphones help. If service at Brompton Barracks or a London job keeps moving your hours, we can choose a time you can both reliably keep.
Is there free relationship help in Chatham?
Chatham's free services are built for one person at a time, and either of you can lean on them while our joint sessions continue. Each of you may ring 0333 091 0414 to reach NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway about your own anxiety or low mood, and at The Magpie Centre on Magpie Hall Road, MEGAN CIC holds peer support groups open to anyone 17 or older. If drinking is the worry, RIVER family and friends support helps partners.
My partner won't come. Can I start couples counselling on my own from Chatham?
You can. In solo sessions we focus on your half of the pattern: how you react as things get tense, what has gone unsaid, and what you hope the relationship becomes. A change on one side can shift things at home, and your partner may decide to join later. Should you feel unsafe with your partner, go to this page's safety section first.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
One call, together or apart, to begin
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.