Basingstoke · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Basingstoke
Perhaps one disagreement keeps resurfacing between office days and school runs, or perhaps the two of you have gone quiet on everything important; couples counselling sets apart an hour to examine it with someone from outside. Hove is 99 minutes' drive away, so our sessions run on secure video, sitting together or logging in from separate rooms, and you are welcome to begin on your own.
The practical facts for Basingstoke
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Basingstoke by car
- About 99 minutes with clear roads (85.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, 023 8038 3920
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Office hours, early trains and tenancies that end
Couples in Basingstoke often live on two timetables.
One of you might catch an early South Western Railway train towards Waterloo while the other heads to an office on Basing View, a shift at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital or a desk at one of the town's insurance or IT firms. In 2021 more than one in ten working residents of the borough did over 49 hours a week, and when that describes one of you, the strain usually shows at home before either of you says it out loud. Where you live can add pressure too, when a landlord sells or a lease ends and a decision about moving in together arrives sooner than planned. Census figures show that 33.4% of adults in Basingstoke and Deane had never married or been in a civil partnership. Marriage is only one shape a committed relationship takes, and a couple who have never married can still be stuck on what comes next.
What happens in the hour, together or apart
In a session each of you gets the same time and the same hearing. The aim is for you both to spot the loop that keeps catching you, with me standing outside it rather than keeping score. The loop might be about money and rent, about who carries the children's bedtimes while the other is still travelling home, or about family left behind in London or further away. Sometimes the question is whether to stay together at all. If you are thinking of separating, sessions can help you do it with less damage, especially when children will move between two homes, say in Kempshott and Chineham, and YPI Counselling offers free sessions to parents in the borough as well. Where drink or drugs have moved to the heart of it for one of you, that partner can get an assessment through Inclusion Recovery Hampshire, while our sessions stay with the damage it has done between you. Should your partner not be ready yet, you are free to come by yourself and examine your own moves in that loop. Joint counselling only makes sense when you both feel secure with each other; if one of you lives in fear, the domestic abuse guidance further down matters more than anything else here.
Where the strain tends to show for Basingstoke couples
Long weeks, short evenings
When one of you works very long hours, the conversations that matter get pushed to the weekend, then past it, until resentment does the talking instead.
A tenancy forcing the question
With private renting up to 15.4% of households in the borough by 2021, a rent rise or a landlord selling can push a couple into decisions neither has finished thinking through.
Parents under one roof, or two
YPI Counselling offers free confidential sessions to parents of any age in Basingstoke and Deane, which can sit alongside our work when children are caught up in the tension.
When drink is part of it
Inclusion Recovery Hampshire assesses drinking or drug use, and Parent Support Link helps affected families, while our sessions look after the relationship itself.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Basingstoke
Low-cost and free help in Basingstoke can support each of you while we work. Basingstoke Counselling Service has offered individual and couples counselling since 1985, with weekly fees set by income. When worry or a persistent flat mood is the trouble, NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire accepts a self-referral from either partner, and for a partner now caring for the other or for a relative there is the Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationParent Support Link (PSL)
- Local organisationSamaritans of BasingstokeVolunteer-run Samaritans branch at 5 Essex Road.
- Local organisationSt. Michael's Hospice bereavement servicesHospice bereavement support in Basingstoke, low-cost or fee-paying.
- Local organisationAndover Mind Basingstoke wellbeing baseLocal Mind wellbeing base running peer support, low-cost or fee-paying.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Basingstoke ask before starting
Can we see a couples counsellor in person in Basingstoke?
My room is at Intergen House in Hove, about 99 minutes' drive from Basingstoke, so in-person sessions mean a trip south together. Weekly work runs far more easily on secure video, with an occasional longer meeting in Hove if you want one. If seeing someone face to face in town every week matters to you, Basingstoke Counselling Service on London Road offers couples counselling.
Can we do couples sessions on video if one of us is in London during the week?
Yes. Each of you logs in from somewhere private, one at home in Basingstoke and the other in a hotel room or flat, and the three of us meet on screen. Good headphones and a steady connection help. We would pick a regular time you can both keep, even in the weeks when the London diary runs late.
Where else in Basingstoke can couples find help, free or by income?
Basingstoke Counselling Service sets its weekly fees by income, which can make couples counselling more affordable, though it isn't free. YPI Counselling sees parents free of charge, and either of you can call NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire on 023 8038 3920 about your own anxiety or low mood. Each of these can sit beside our couples work from Basingstoke.
How soon can we start couples counselling from Basingstoke if one of us is unsure?
You can book the free consultation together, or one of you can call first. If we go ahead, I offer the times I really have available, so there is no waiting list. A hesitant partner can listen in on that first call, join later, or leave you to begin alone, and any of those is a reasonable way in.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Begin with one phone call from Basingstoke
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.