Basingstoke · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Basingstoke
When someone you love has died, Basingstoke can carry on around you as if nothing has changed. Each week we set aside an hour for the person who died, for the gap they left in your Basingstoke life, and for everything the loss has shaken loose. Since my Hove room sits around 99 minutes' drive from Hatch Warren or Chineham, we usually meet on secure video, with an occasional longer visit in person.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Basingstoke
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Basingstoke by car
- About 99 minutes with clear roads (85.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Grieving in a town where family often lives elsewhere
Basingstoke grew quickly after the London Overspill plan of the late 1960s and still draws newcomers for work, so grief here often comes with distance.
The parent who died may have lived in London or further away, the funeral may have been somewhere you rarely visit, and the brothers and sisters you would grieve alongside may be scattered. Back home in Hatch Warren or Old Basing, the working week resumes, colleagues stop asking, and the house can feel very quiet. For others the loss happened close by: weeks of visits to Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital, or care from St. Michael's Hospice on Aldermaston Road, and then the strange emptiness when the visiting stops. Familiar places, a loop around the Aquadrome or an errand at Festival Place, can suddenly hold a memory at every turn. Reactions like these are part of grieving, and every one of them can be talked about.
No stages to pass, and room for every feeling
Grief keeps no timetable, and in our sessions there is no list of stages to get through. We start wherever you are: perhaps the last conversation you had, the practical whirl of registering a death and clearing a house, or the moment, weeks later, when the loss finally landed. Alongside sadness there may be anger, guilt about what was said or left unsaid, or relief after a long illness, and relief can feel shameful even though it is a very human response after caring for someone. If your relationship with the person who died was difficult, grief can be tangled with resentment, and that deserves the same space. After a suicide the questions can be relentless; the Support After Suicide Service from Cruse covers Hampshire and can stand alongside our work. If an evening drink has become two or three since the funeral, we can look at that honestly too, and Inclusion Recovery Hampshire is there if it has gone further. Behind the sessions are my own recovery and over 25 years in practice, and we go at whatever pace feels right to you, for as long as the sessions are useful.
Losses you might be carrying in Basingstoke
After a hospice death
St. Michael's Hospice runs bereavement support from Aldermaston Road, mainly for families of its own patients, including a monthly coffee morning and a Young and Widowed Support Group.
After a suicide
The Support After Suicide Service from Cruse covers Southampton, Hampshire, the Isle of Wight and Portsmouth, giving specialist support to people bereaved in this way.
When the caring has ended
If you looked after a partner or parent through their final months, losing that role is a loss of its own. In Basingstoke and beyond, The Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire is there for carers.
Grieving from a distance
When the funeral took place far from Basingstoke and colleagues never met the person, you can be left grieving alone among people who expect you back to normal.
Free bereavement support for Basingstoke
St. Michael's Hospice bereavement services in Basingstoke include one-to-one counselling, a monthly walk and talk and a seven-week course, mostly for people whose loved one was in the hospice's care. Cruse Bereavement Support runs its Support After Suicide Service across Hampshire. If the loss has left you anxious or flat, NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire takes self-referrals, with no need to see a Basingstoke GP first. Our private work can fit around whichever of these you use.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationThe Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire (Hampshire Carers Support Service)
- Local organisationSamaritans of BasingstokeVolunteer-run Samaritans branch at 5 Essex Road.
- Local organisationSt. Michael's Hospice bereavement servicesHospice bereavement support in Basingstoke, low-cost or fee-paying.
- Local organisationAndover Mind Basingstoke wellbeing baseLocal Mind wellbeing base running peer support, low-cost or fee-paying.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258.
What people in Basingstoke ask before starting
Is there free bereavement counselling in Basingstoke?
Some. St. Michael's Hospice on Aldermaston Road offers bereavement counselling and groups, mostly for families of people it cared for. Cruse's national helpline is 0808 808 1677, and its suicide bereavement service covers Hampshire. Basingstoke Counselling Service sets weekly fees by income, and Andover Mind offers low-cost counselling. If waiting lists feel too long, sessions with me can begin as soon as you have chosen a weekly time.
When is it right to begin grief counselling from Basingstoke after a death?
Whenever you want to. You might come in the first raw weeks, or a year or more later once the support around you has faded, and neither is too early or too late. After a free call you pick a weekly time that fits your Basingstoke week, and our first hour belongs to the person you lost and the story of what happened.
Can bereavement counselling really work over video from Basingstoke?
It can feel surprisingly close. With Hove around 99 minutes' drive away, video is how we would usually meet from Basingstoke, and being at home means you have no drive afterwards when a session has stirred a lot up. If you ever want to meet face to face at Intergen House, a longer session can be arranged.
Since my mum died I've been drinking more in Basingstoke. Can grief counselling cover that?
Yes. Grief and drinking often get tangled, and we can talk about both without judgement. Should the drinking have outgrown what you can handle alone, Inclusion Recovery Hampshire assesses Basingstoke residents on 0300 124 0103, and if you drink heavily every day, check the urgent help box on this page before cutting down. That same box gives the numbers to ring if grief ever brings thoughts of not wanting to carry on.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Talk about the person you've lost, starting with one call
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.