Putney · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Putney
When the same row keeps resurfacing between you and your partner, whether in a Thamesfield flat or up on Putney Hill, couples counselling offers an hour in which each of you is properly heard. I work by secure video, so you can join together from home, or from two different places if your days pull you apart. The one room I work from is on Western Road in Hove, about 80 minutes' drive away.
The practical facts for Putney
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Putney by car
- About 80 minutes with clear roads (58.1 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Putney, change at Clapham Junction for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- Wandsworth Talking Therapies, 0203 513 6264
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Waterloo, the District line and a shared kitchen at nine
Two people can live in the same flat in Thamesfield or on Putney Hill and barely overlap on a weekday.
One may catch the South Western Railway service to Waterloo, the other the District line from East Putney, and the evening becomes a short, tired handover before bed. Weekends fill up too. Putney is a lively town centre with plenty to do, and if one of you rows from the Embankment, early training can take a slice out of every Saturday. None of that is a problem in itself. The strain comes when the small, sore conversations about money, chores, family, sex or whether to stay in London never quite get their turn, and resentment starts to do the talking instead. You may also be caring for a parent or a child with extra needs, which can leave almost no time that is just yours as a pair.
Fitting couples sessions around two SW15 timetables
The practical side comes first, because an hour you both keep is worth more than a perfect plan you keep cancelling. On video, you can sit side by side on one laptop at home, or each join from wherever you are, perhaps one from an office in town and one from the flat. That second option helps when a late train or a shift would otherwise wreck the session. In the work itself I listen to both of you with equal care and leave the question of who is right to one side. We look at the pattern you each get pulled into, the way a comment about the washing-up turns into a row about respect, and we slow it down enough for each of you to see your own part. If your partner isn't ready to take part, you're welcome to start alone and work on how you show up in the relationship, and they can join later. Where drinking runs through the arguments, we can name that honestly, and the partner who is worried can get support of their own as well. Couples work is only right where both of you feel safe, which the section further on covers.
What a Putney week can do to two people
Two commutes, little overlap
One of you on the train to Waterloo, the other on the District line, and the only shared time is a worn-out hour before sleep.
Training before the day starts
Early outings from one of Putney Embankment's rowing clubs that a partner first admired and now quietly resents, because every weekend starts without them.
Caring for someone you both love
Looking after a parent or a child who needs extra help, and losing each other in the tasks. Wandsworth Carers' Centre can support the carer alongside sessions.
Worried about a partner's drinking
When drinking keeps turning up in your arguments, Substance Misuse Carer Support at Wandsworth Carers' Centre helps family and partners, separately from our couples sessions.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Putney
There's free help in Wandsworth that can sit alongside couples sessions. Wandsworth Carers' Centre supports people caring for a relative or partner. Its Substance Misuse Carer Support helps partners and family of someone who drinks or uses drugs. Wandsworth Community Drug and Alcohol Service (WCDAS) works with the person drinking. Wandsworth Talking Therapies takes self-referrals from each partner separately when worry or a low spell sets in.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)Wandsworth Talking Therapies0203 513 6264Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itWandsworth Community Drug and Alcohol Service (WCDAS)020 3228 1777Free and confidential.
- Local organisationWandsworth Carers' Centre
- Local organisationWandsworth Bereavement Service
- Local organisationAllkind
- Local organisationInner South West London SamaritansSamaritans branch based in Putney.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service is another option: text 80991 or WhatsApp 0303 330 1511. Local drop-in crisis support: Tooting Recovery Café (Hestia) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Putney ask before starting
Can we do couples counselling from Putney if we're in different places?
Yes. Each of you can join the video call from your own device, one perhaps from work and one from home in Putney, and the session runs much as it would on one screen. Sitting together can make the harder moments easier, so we can mix the two depending on your week.
How do we start, and can we come to Hove in person?
Book the free 15-minute consultation, together or separately, so each of you can ask what you need to. From Putney the Hove room is about 80 minutes' drive or a train via Clapham Junction, so weekly sessions usually work best on video. An occasional longer session in Hove is welcome if you'd like to be in the same room.
Is there free relationship support in Wandsworth while we wait?
The free services I can point you to in Wandsworth support the pressures around a relationship rather than the relationship itself. Wandsworth Talking Therapies helps either of you with anxiety or low mood, on 0203 513 6264, and Wandsworth Carers' Centre supports a partner who is caring. With the free call, you can usually begin with me quickly.
My partner's drinking is causing our rows. Can couples counselling help?
We can talk about the drinking openly as part of the relationship work, as long as you both feel safe. Help with the drinking itself comes free from Wandsworth Community Drug and Alcohol Service on 020 3228 1777, and Substance Misuse Carer Support at Wandsworth Carers' Centre supports the partner who is worried.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Set aside one protected hour as a couple
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.