Margate · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Margate
When two people in Margate keep missing each other, through the summer rush, a parent who needs looking after, or a move to the coast that one of you wanted more, couples counselling sets aside a protected weekly hour. The Hove room is about 125 minutes by road, so from Margate we would meet on secure video, side by side or from two places.
The practical facts for Margate
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Margate by car
- About 125 minutes with clear roads (105.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway, 0333 091 0414
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Moving to the coast, caring and the season under one roof
Couples in Margate often juggle things that don't show from the seafront.
If the two of you came here during the arts-led revival around the Turner Contemporary, one may have settled happily while the other still misses friends and work elsewhere. If you have always lived in Thanet, you may be watching your street change and disagreeing about whether to stay. Summer work at Dreamland, on Main Sands or in Old Town cafes can push long hours onto one partner while the other holds the house together, and winter brings the money worries. Thanet's population is older than England's, with a median age of 45 by 2021, so older relationships here meet retirement, illness or a parent moving in. With 3.7% of Thanet people providing 50 or more hours of unpaid care each week, caring can quietly become the third presence in a marriage, until you feel less like partners and more like colleagues on a rota.
What happens in a couples hour on screen
Each of you is heard, and neither of you is put on trial. We look at the pattern between you rather than the latest argument: perhaps one of you raises things and the other retreats, or a resentment about who gave up what to move to the coast flares whenever money is tight. Where one partner has become the other's carer, or both of you are caring for a parent, we can talk honestly about loss, tiredness and the guilt of wanting your own life back, while Carers' Support East Kent supports the caring side separately. If one partner's drinking sits under the rows, the partner who worries can get help of their own through Al-Anon Family Groups or the Kenward Trust's friends and family service, and our sessions stay with the relationship. One of you can begin alone if the other is unsure; changing your half of a pattern often shifts the whole of it. Joint sessions only make sense when neither of you is afraid at home, so if you fear your partner, read this page's safety section first. Behind each session sit BACP registration and over a quarter of a century of practice.
Pressures on Margate relationships
One of you wanted the move
Relocating to Margate for its arts-led revival can leave one partner thriving and the other lonely, and that imbalance can surface as rows about something else entirely.
Caring reshapes the marriage
When looking after a parent or partner fills the week, Carers' Support East Kent takes self-referrals, and our sessions look at what caring has done to the two of you.
Summer hours, winter bills
Seasonal work around Dreamland, Main Sands and the Old Town can leave one of you exhausted in August and both of you anxious about money by February.
Growing older side by side
Thanet's older population means couples can meet retirement, illness and quieter days together, and Age UK Thanet's telephone befriending offers the over-50s company between sessions.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Margate
Free local services can support each of you individually alongside couples work. NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway sees people one at a time, so either partner struggling with anxiety or low mood in Thanet can self-refer separately. Carers' Support East Kent helps a partner who is caring, Al-Anon Family Groups support someone worried about a partner's drinking, and East Kent Mind runs Walk and Take Notice Margate on Friday afternoons.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itEast Kent community drug and alcohol service (The Forward Trust)0300 123 1186Free and confidential.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Release the Pressure Helpline - Kent is on 0800 107 0160. Local drop-in crisis support: Thanet Safe Haven (Mental Health Matters) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Margate ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling by video when one of us works away from Margate?
Yes. Each partner joins the same call from a private spot, say the kitchen in Cliftonville and a lorry cab, a hotel room or a break room elsewhere, and the session runs exactly as it would on one sofa. Wired earphones keep it private. If seasonal hours keep moving, we can look for a weekly slot you can both guard through the summer.
How quickly can a Margate couple start relationship counselling?
One partner alone can take the free consultation call, or the two of you together. If you both want to go ahead, I offer the weekly times I have available and you choose one that fits work and caring in Margate. There is no referral or form to fill in first, and sessions begin on video.
I've ended up caring for my husband in Margate. Is there free help for me as his carer?
Carers' Support East Kent supports unpaid carers in Thanet, including people caring for someone with mental illness or an addiction, and you can refer yourself by phone, form or in person on weekdays. Age UK Thanet runs free telephone befriending for over-50s. Our couples sessions can then focus on how caring has changed the relationship between you.
Is it too late for couples counselling after decades together in Margate?
It is rarely too late to understand each other better. Long relationships can stall at retirement, after children leave or when health changes, and old habits of not quite saying things can harden. Counselling gives you both a calm hour to hear what has gone unspoken. Video works well even if neither of you uses it much, and we can test it first.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
One call to see if this suits you both
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.