Canterbury · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Canterbury
If shifts, term dates and the visitor season leave the two of you circling one old row, or barely talking, couples counselling sets aside a weekly hour for what passes between you. With the Hove room 106 minutes away by road, Canterbury couples usually meet me on secure video, sharing a screen at home or logging in from two separate places. You are also welcome to start on your own.
The practical facts for Canterbury
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Canterbury by car
- About 106 minutes with clear roads (90.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway, 0333 091 0414
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Seasons, rotas and term dates in one household
Couples in Canterbury often run on several calendars at once.
One of you might work the long days of the visitor season in a hotel or shop near the cathedral, the other a rota at Kent and Canterbury Hospital that changes week to week. If you met at one of the city's universities, the relationship may have begun in a shared house in Hales Place and now has to survive one of you staying and the other moving on. Older couples meet different turns: retirement, a partner's failing health, or caring that has quietly become a full-time job. And in parts of Wincheap, Northgate and Barton that the council's 2017 profile placed among England's 20% most deprived neighbourhoods, money worries can sit underneath every disagreement. With so little time when you are both awake and rested, the conversations that matter get pushed to late at night, or never happen at all.
How couples sessions run from east Kent
Both of you get equal time and equal attention. Rather than ruling on who is right, I help you both trace the loop you fall into, perhaps the one that starts when a hospital shift overruns or a weekend plan collapses. It might be one partner who presses for a conversation while the other goes quiet, an old hurt that resurfaces every time plans change, or resentment about who carries more of the house, the children or an ageing parent. Where one partner looks after someone with a mental health problem, the Rethink Canterbury and Coastal Carers' Support Group in Hales Place offers company of their own, while our hour together looks at how caring has changed the two of you. Should drink or drugs turn out to be what the arguments are really about, the partner who worries can lean on Kenward Trust's friends and family service, and our couples hour carries on with the relationship itself. Whichever of you feels ready first can begin solo, looking at your own side of that loop. Joint sessions rely on both of you being safe at home, and fear of your partner means the safety guidance further down this page is where to begin.
What strains a relationship in a cathedral city
Shifts that never line up
A hospital rota on Ethelbert Road and a hotel or retail job in the tourist season can leave one tired hour a day when you are both at home.
Graduating, staying or leaving
Relationships formed at the University of Kent or Canterbury Christ Church University face a hard question when study ends and only one of you wants to stay.
When caring reshapes the marriage
The district has more people aged 70 to 79 than the Kent average, and a partner can gradually become the other's carer, with the relationship shifting underneath.
Worried about their drinking
If a partner drinks or uses drugs, Kenward Trust's friends and family service and Al-Anon Family Groups give the worried partner support of their own, separate from our hour.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Canterbury
Free local services support each of you as individuals, and they sit comfortably alongside couples work. For anxiety or low mood, both partners can individually approach NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway (Vita Health Group in partnership with With You), with no need to see a GP first. Kenward Trust - Friends, Family and Loved Ones Support and Al-Anon Family Groups both stand beside a partner worried about drinking. The Rethink Canterbury and Coastal Carers' Support Group helps a partner who is caring.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itEast Kent community drug and alcohol service (The Forward Trust)0300 123 1186Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCanterbury Umbrella CentreCharity community centre.
- Local organisationRethink Canterbury and Coastal Carers' Support Group
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Release the Pressure Helpline - Kent is on 0800 107 0160. Local drop-in crisis support: Canterbury Safe Haven (Mental Health Matters) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Canterbury ask before starting
Is it worth driving from Canterbury to Hove for couples sessions?
In-person sessions are in Hove, about 106 minutes' drive from Canterbury with no direct train, so weekly meetings are far easier by secure video. For couples who want an occasional face-to-face meeting, a 90- or 120-minute session in Hove gives the long trip from east Kent more to show for it.
Can one of us join from a night shift or a work trip while the other is at home in Canterbury?
Yes. Each of you logs in from a private space, perhaps one at home in Canterbury and the other in a staff room or a hotel, and the three of us meet on screen. Headphones help. If a hospital rota or seasonal work keeps changing your hours, we can look for a regular slot you can both protect.
What free help can Canterbury couples use alongside counselling?
Most free Canterbury services listed here see one person at a time, so each of you can use them while we meet as a couple. For your own anxiety or low mood, either of you may self-refer on 0333 091 0414 to a Vita Health Group and With You service, NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway. When drinking is the concern, Kenward Trust and Al-Anon support the other partner, and the Rethink carers group meets monthly in Hales Place.
My partner won't come. Can I have relationship counselling alone in Canterbury?
You can. Coming by yourself, you can look honestly at your share of the pattern: how you react once things get tense at home, the things that have gone unsaid, and what you now hope for between you. A change on one side often shifts the whole dynamic, and a partner may choose to join later. Should your partner frighten you, turn to the safety guidance on this page before anything else here.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
A free first call from Canterbury, as a pair or solo
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.