City of London · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for City of London
If the City's hours have started to set the terms of your relationship, this page is for the two of you, or for one of you on your own. From the Square Mile, Hove is about 100 minutes by car, so couples sessions would normally run on secure video, perhaps with each of you joining from a different place, and a Hove visit only now and then.
The practical facts for City of London
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From City of London by car
- About 100 minutes with clear roads (54.1 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- City & Hackney Talking Therapies, 020 7683 4278
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
A relationship that has to fit around the Square Mile
The City Corporation counted 615,000 workers in the City in 2022, about 1 in every 52 British workers, and its factsheet shows a workforce younger than the national one, with 56% aged 22 to 39.
Those are often the years of moving in together, marrying, deciding about children, and in the City they can coincide with the most demanding stretch of a career. Financial and professional services make up over half the jobs, and a deal, an audit or a market close rarely waits for an anniversary dinner. One of you may work in the City while the other works somewhere else entirely, on a different clock and a different train home. For the 8,583 people counted as residents at the 2021 census, on the Barbican, Golden Lane or the Mansell Street estate, home and the working district share the same streets, which can make it hard to leave work behind when you close your own door.
Talking as a couple when one of you is never off call
Couples counselling gives both of you an hour in which neither is checking a phone and neither has to win. In a district like this, the arguments that bring partners to it are frequently about time: who gave up an evening, whose career gets to come first, why a promised weekend vanished into a deadline. Underneath sit quieter questions about whether you still feel chosen, or whether the drink after work has become a way of not coming home yet. We slow the conversation down so that each of you can say what you actually mean, and the other can hear it without bracing for attack. Sometimes the work is about rebuilding trust after an affair or a long silence. Sometimes it is about deciding together whether to stay, and how to part decently if you don't. If only you are willing, you can still come alone, perhaps from a quiet room near Bank, to look honestly at the part you play in the pattern and work out what you want next. My own recovery, and a counselling career now past 25 years, mean drinking, overwork and shame can be spoken about plainly, and I take neither partner's side.
Pressures a City relationship has to absorb
When the job comes first
With financial and professional services making up over half the City's workforce, late closes and weekend calls can leave a partner feeling they rank second to a mobile.
Settling down at 22 to 39
56% of City workers fall in this age band, so moving in, weddings and first children can arrive at the same moment as the hardest push for promotion.
Shifts behind the office doors
If one of you cleans or guards City buildings at early or late hours, you may barely overlap at home, and the strain the City's health strategy notes reaches the relationship too.
One of you becomes a carer
When a parent's care falls to one of you, the City of London Carers Support Service, run by Imago, helps unpaid carers in the Square Mile, and our sessions can hold what it does to the two of you.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for City of London
The City Wellbeing Centre, run by Tavistock Relationships and commissioned by the City of London Corporation, offers counselling for couples on a sliding scale, and is worth knowing about alongside private work. City Advice at Toynbee Hall gives free advice on family issues, debt and housing to people living in the Square Mile or on a City estate. Age UK City of London supports people over 55 through social connection and health walks.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)City & Hackney Talking Therapies020 7683 4278Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itCity and Hackney Recovery Service0345 144 0050Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCity of London Carers Support Service (Imago)
- Local organisationCentral London Samaritans
- Local organisationDragon Café in the City (Mental Fight Club)Free fortnightly wellbeing sessions, low-cost or fee-paying.
- Local organisationSt Joseph's Hospice bereavement serviceHospice bereavement counselling.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in City of London ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling on video if only one of us works in the City?
Yes. You can share one screen at home, or each join from a different place, such as a booked meeting room near Bank and a quiet room in your flat, provided neither of you can be overheard. Separate screens can help on nights when one of you is held late in the office. An occasional joint session in Hove is possible if you both want to be in the same room with me.
Where can couples in the City of London find sliding-scale counselling?
The City Wellbeing Centre, run by Tavistock Relationships and commissioned by the City of London Corporation, sees couples on sliding-scale fees, and it is a sensible first call if money is tight. Private couples sessions with me can be booked straight after a free consultation, at an hour that fits around both your working weeks, and nothing stops you using both.
My partner's City hours mean we can never find a time. How would sessions fit?
We agree one protected slot and treat it like a meeting that cannot be moved, early morning or evening by video. If a weekly hour is impossible, a 90-minute session every other week gives you more room to settle into the conversation. What matters most is consistency, because a session cancelled for a deadline teaches both of you that the relationship comes second again.
Can I see you alone if my partner in the Square Mile won't take part?
You can. Individual sessions about a relationship are a good use of the time, especially when one partner is reluctant or too busy to commit. We look at the pattern from your side, what you want, and what you're prepared to keep doing. If your partner wants to join at a later point, we would first discuss how to keep the sessions balanced.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
An hour each week that the City doesn't get
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.