Andover · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Couples therapy and relationship counselling for Andover
Army postings, shifts that never overlap and a house full of young children can all wear a couple down, and couples counselling for Andover partners sets aside an hour where you can talk without going round in circles. Andover is close to two hours from Hove by road, so we meet on secure video, together on one screen or from two places if one of you is away.
The practical facts for Andover
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Andover by car
- About 117 minutes with clear roads (89.1 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)
- NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire, 023 8038 3920
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Rotas, postings and a house full of children
Couples in Andover often live to a timetable set by somebody else.
Retail is the town's largest employment sector, at an estimated 24.2% of the workforce, followed by manufacturing, so weekend rotas and early starts can leave partners passing each other in the hallway. Around Marlborough Lines the timetable belongs to the Army, and a posting, an exercise or a restructure can rearrange a marriage overnight. Andover is also younger than the rest of Test Valley, with 21.6% of residents aged 20 to 39, the years when people tend to set up home, have children and stretch every pound. In the 2011 Census, 21.4% of Andover residents rented from a housing association, against 14.4% across the borough, and arguments about space and money can press hard on two people trying to stay close. None of this decides how a relationship goes, but it does shape the rows that come up.
Talking as two people rather than two schedules
Relationship counselling with me is a structured hour in which each of you is properly heard, and I keep the conversation from sliding back into the familiar argument. We look at what happens between you: who pursues and who withdraws, how money, children or in-laws come up, and what the last posting or the latest shift change has done to your time together. You might be deciding whether to stay together, recovering after an affair, or noticing that you have become good housemates and little else. When one partner is away with the Army, or working nights while the other has the children, sessions can run with each of you on your own screen. If only one of you is ready, you can come alone and work on your side of things. Joint sessions are for couples where both people feel safe to speak freely; if that is not true at home, the safety section on this page shows where to turn, and individual sessions stay open to you. My work is integrative, draws on solution-focused methods and rests on more than 25 years in the counselling room.
Strains that land on Andover relationships
When one of you is posted away
Absences tied to Army Headquarters at Marlborough Lines can leave one partner running the home alone and the other coming back to routines that moved on without them.
Rotas that never line up
Retail and manufacturing employ a large slice of Andover's workforce, and mismatched hours can leave a couple sharing a house but rarely an evening.
New parents in a younger town
With 25.9% of Andover residents aged 19 or under, small children set the rhythm in a lot of homes, and broken sleep can wear down even a close partnership.
When an elderly parent needs you both
Should caring for a parent fall to one of you, the carers' service at Andover War Memorial Hospital gives free help while our couples work carries on.
If you are afraid of your partner
Couples counselling is not safe or suitable where one partner is afraid of the other. You can book the free call on your own. What you tell me on your own is not passed to your partner without your agreement, except where someone's safety is at serious risk; I explain those limits on the free call. In your message, tell me the safest way and time to contact you. Video sessions from a shared home are not private if you could be overheard or your devices are checked. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
If there is violence, threats or controlling behaviour, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247. The Men's Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. If you are worried about your own behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phoneline is on 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm).
Free and low-cost support for Andover
Andover Mind's low-cost counselling covers family and relationship issues for adults over 18, face to face across Test Valley or online, and is worth knowing about if private sessions are out of reach. NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire takes self-referrals from either partner for anxiety or low mood. Where caring for a relative is squeezing the relationship, unpaid carers are supported free of charge by The Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire, found on the Charlton Road hospital site.
- Free NHS talking therapy (for one of you)NHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and related difficulties. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationAndover Mind counselling
- Local organisationParent Support Link (PSL)
- Local organisationThe Countess of Brecknock Hospice bereavement support
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258. Local drop-in crisis support: Aldershot Safe Haven; North and Mid Hampshire Safe Haven (Andover Mind) (check opening times before you go).
If you, or someone you live with, drink heavily every day, or take drugs such as benzodiazepines or GHB daily, do not stop suddenly without medical advice. Withdrawal can cause seizures and can be dangerous. Your GP or the local drug and alcohol service can arrange medically assisted withdrawal. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone in withdrawal is shaking visibly, unusually restless or agitated, confused, seeing or hearing things that are not there, or has a fit. For milder symptoms, such as a slight tremor or sweating, contact your GP or NHS 111 the same day (NHS guidance). Counselling works alongside medical support, not instead of it.
What people in Andover ask before starting
Can we have couples counselling by video if one of us is away from Andover with the Army?
Yes. A partner at Marlborough Lines or further afield can log in on a separate laptop or phone, provided each of you has somewhere private and a steady signal. Joint video sessions suit partners split by a posting or a training course, and when you are both home in Andover you can sit side by side instead. The same counsellor holds the thread either way.
My partner won't come to relationship counselling. Is it worth going alone in Andover?
It can be. Working on your own side of a relationship, what you react to, what you want and what you are ready to change, can still alter how things go between you, and sometimes a partner joins later. From Andover we would meet by video. If what you are describing involves being afraid of your partner, the safety information on this page comes first.
We both work shifts in Andover. How do we get a couples session booked?
Either of you, or both, can take the free 15-minute call, and afterwards I list the weekly video slots still free so you can match one to both rotas. If you want a low-cost route first, Andover Mind's counselling service takes self-referrals and covers relationship issues, with its own waiting times.
Is relationship counselling confidential if one of us works at Marlborough Lines?
Yes. What either of you says stays private within the usual limits of confidentiality, which I go through at the start, and nothing is passed to an employer, Army Headquarters included. Meeting by video also means nobody in Andover sees the two of you arriving anywhere. Work stress, postings and rank can all be talked about openly.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
One conversation for two, wherever you are in Test Valley
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.