Southampton · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Southampton
If someone close to you has died and you're living with the loss in Southampton, grief counselling gives you a regular hour to talk about them and about how you are. My room is in Hove, 86 minutes' drive away, so from Southampton we'd normally meet on secure video from your home, with a visit to Hove whenever you'd like one.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Southampton
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Southampton by car
- About 86 minutes with clear roads (61.2 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Southampton Central to Hove.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Grieving in a city that keeps moving
Southampton doesn't pause. Ships still turn round at the port, shifts at Southampton General Hospital still start on time, and the city centre around Westquay and the Bargate stays busy whatever has happened in your house. After a death, that can be hard to bear. You may be back at work within days, or sorting paperwork between other commitments, while the people around you assume life has resumed. If the person you've lost was cared for at Tremona Road, you may know those wards and corridors well, and going back to that part of the city can bring everything flooding back. If you came to Southampton to study or work, family may be far away, so the grief is carried mostly on your own. And some losses, such as a death that came suddenly or one that followed a complicated relationship, leave questions that don't settle within weeks or months.
What grief counselling with me involves
There are no stages you have to pass through in order, and no point at which you ought to be over it. The speed is yours to choose. Some weeks you might want to talk about the person, what they were like and what you miss; other weeks it may be the practical aftermath, the arguments with siblings, or how strange it feels to go back to work. Grief brings anger, guilt and sometimes relief as well as sadness, especially after a long stretch of caring or a relationship that was difficult, and all of that is welcome in the room. If someone died by suicide, the questions can keep circling, and that kind of loss deserves particular care. If you've noticed you're drinking more to get through the evenings, we can talk about that too, without judgement; I've been in recovery myself, so I understand how grief and drinking can become tangled. Counselling won't take the loss away. What it can offer is a steady place to carry it, so that over time it becomes something you live alongside.
Kinds of grief in a Southampton household
After caring for someone
If you looked after a parent or partner, perhaps with help from Unpaid Carers Support Southampton, the end of caring can leave exhaustion, relief and guilt alongside the loss.
Hospital memories at Tremona Road
Long weeks visiting Southampton General Hospital can mean the building itself, and the route you took to reach it, both carry the loss.
Bereaved by suicide
Cruse runs a Support After Suicide Service across the wider Southampton area for anyone bereaved this way, and it can run alongside our sessions.
Grieving away from family
If university or work brought you to Southampton, the people who knew the person you've lost may live far away, leaving few shared memories close by.
Free bereavement support for Southampton
Alongside private sessions, Southampton has free bereavement support. Mountbatten Hampshire, the hospice at Botley Road, West End, offers up to six one-hour sessions plus a bereavement group for up to a year, open to everyone. The White Lily Centre in Bitterne runs coffee mornings, social gatherings and grief programmes, and Cruse Bereavement Support has a Support After Suicide Service for Southampton, Hampshire, the Isle of Wight and Portsmouth.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Southampton0800 612 7000Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itSSJ&IRun by The Society of St James, in partnership with Inclusion. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationSolent MindMental health charity.
- Local organisationThe Lighthouse, Bitterne and Shirley
- Local organisationMountbatten Hampshire counselling and bereavement support
- Local organisationUnpaid Carers Support SouthamptonLow-cost or fee-paying.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Local drop-in crisis support: Safe Haven Southampton (No Limits, young people 11-25) (check opening times before you go).
What people in Southampton ask before starting
Where can I find grief counselling in Southampton?
Free options include Mountbatten Hampshire's bereavement support, open to everyone, and The White Lily Centre in Bitterne, which also offers low-cost one-to-one counselling. With me, sessions are private and usually by secure video from Southampton, because my room is in Hove. You can use a free service and see me as well, if that suits you.
Is it too soon, or too late, to have bereavement counselling?
There's no right time. You might want to talk within weeks of a death, or come years later when something brings the loss back. Neither is wrong, and grief keeps no timetable. If you're in Southampton and unsure, a short free call lets you talk it through without committing to anything.
Does grief counselling on a screen feel too distant from Southampton?
Usually it feels closer than people expect, and from Southampton it's often the gentlest way. The Hove room is about 86 minutes' drive, and after a session about someone you've lost, a long trip home can feel hard. On video you stay in your own space. If you'd value sitting in the room occasionally, the direct Southern train from Southampton Central makes a visit possible.
Is there support in Southampton after losing someone to suicide?
Yes. After a death by suicide, Cruse Bereavement Support offers a Support After Suicide Service that covers the city, and the Samaritans Southampton and District branch at College Place listens by phone. Our sessions can run in parallel with both. Should grief bring thoughts of ending your own life, turn straight away to the urgent help numbers shown on this page.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
A gentle first conversation, when you feel ready
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.