Winchester · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Winchester
Grief in Winchester can feel lonely in a city where so much stays the same, the cathedral, the river, the walk up St Giles Hill. Once a week, an hour of grief counselling belongs to the person you've lost, who they were to you and how the city looks without them. The Hove room is 94 minutes away by car, so sessions from Winchester mostly happen over a secure video link.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Winchester
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Winchester by car
- About 94 minutes with clear roads (72.6 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
When every familiar street holds a shared memory
The Winchester district's median age is higher than that of the South East or England, and an older population brings later-life grief with it: a parent who had reached a great age, or a husband or wife after a long marriage.
The last months may have meant visits to the Royal Hampshire County Hospital on Romsey Road, or care from Winchester Hospice, which works in partnership with Hampshire Hospitals. Afterwards the routines stop all at once. In a small city the places you shared are never far away: a bench by the City Mill, a seat in the cathedral, the route you used to walk together from Hyde or St Cross. Friends and neighbours tend to be kind at first and then, without meaning to, stop asking. Grief arrives among the young as well. At the University of Winchester a student may lose a parent far from home and sit through a term with nobody nearby who ever met them.
An hour with no stages and no deadline
Grief keeps no timetable, and in our sessions you won't be steered through a sequence of stages. We start with what is loudest: perhaps the final days, a phone call you missed, or the forms and the house clearance that left no room to feel anything. Sadness is only part of it. Anger about how things were handled, guilt over a decision made in a hurry, and relief after a long illness all belong here, and relief in particular tends to arrive with shame attached. If the relationship was a hard one, perhaps a parent who drank or a marriage that had cooled, grief can be knotted up with old resentment, and that gets as much care as tenderness does. After a death by suicide, the Support After Suicide Service, run by Cruse across Hampshire, offers specialist help that can run alongside our sessions. Where wine at the end of the day has crept up since the funeral, we can look at it together without judgement, and Inclusion Recovery Hampshire can help if it has gone further. I have spent 25+ years in practice, and you set the pace throughout.
Kinds of loss, and the local help beside them
Visitors who come to you
Winchester Bereavement Support sends trained volunteer Bereavement Visitors to adults at home or rings them by telephone, across the city and out to Alresford, Romsey and Eastleigh.
Families of Winchester Hospice patients
Winchester Hospice holds bereavement evenings for families and runs the Allium café, a drop-in on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month, 4pm to 6pm, in its garden room.
When someone took their own life
Run by Cruse, the Support After Suicide Service gives specialist help across Hampshire to people bereaved by suicide, and it can sit alongside private sessions with me.
The end of years of caring
Years spent caring for a parent or partner can leave a hollow when the role ends. Carers across the county can contact The Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire, also known as the Hampshire Carers Support Service.
Free bereavement support for Winchester
Winchester Bereavement Support is a free volunteer service for adults that you can contact yourself, with visits at home or calls by phone. Winchester Hospice offers bereavement evenings and the Allium café for families after a death in its care. Cruse runs its Support After Suicide Service county-wide, and Winchester Youth Counselling supports people aged 11-25. Weekly grief sessions with me can sit beside a Bereavement Visitor, the Allium café or Cruse support rather than replace them.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Hampshire023 8038 3920Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itInclusion Recovery Hampshire0300 124 0103Free and confidential.
- Local organisationThe Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Hampshire (Hampshire Carers Support Service)
- Local organisationThe Olive Branch Counselling Service
- Local organisationWinchester Hospice bereavement support (Allium café)
- Local organisationSolent Mind Winchester Wellbeing Centre
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text HANTS to 85258.
What people in Winchester ask before starting
What free bereavement help is there around Winchester?
Several options exist. Winchester Bereavement Support offers free help from trained volunteers to adults in the city and surrounding villages, by home visit or telephone, and you can refer yourself. Winchester Hospice runs the Allium café for bereaved families on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday afternoons. Cruse's national helpline is 0808 808 1677. If you want a counsellor without waiting for a Bereavement Visitor, private weekly sessions with me are a further choice.
How long after a death should I wait before grief counselling in Winchester?
There is no right moment to wait for. You might come in the first raw weeks, or a year or two later when everyone assumes you are fine, and both make sense. After a free first call you choose a weekly slot from the times I have open, and the opening session is about the person you lost and whatever you want to say about them.
Can I have grief counselling at home in Winchester rather than travelling?
Yes. Since the Hove room is 94 minutes' drive from Winchester, sessions normally happen over secure video, so you stay in your own home in Stanmore, Weeke or wherever you live, with no drive afterwards when an hour has stirred a lot. Whenever you would rather sit in the same room, we can book a longer meeting in Hove.
My dad died at the Royal Hampshire County Hospital and I feel guilty I wasn't there. Can we work on that guilt in grief counselling?
Guilt about not being there at the end is a common part of grief, and it deserves careful attention rather than quick reassurance. We can go over what happened, what you knew at the time and what you wish had been different, at a pace you choose. Should that guilt ever slide into not wanting to go on, the urgent help box on this page is there for exactly that moment.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Begin by telling me about them, wherever you are in Winchester
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.