Portsmouth · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Portsmouth
When a death has emptied part of your life and Portsmouth carries on around you as though nothing has changed, bereavement counselling gives you a weekly hour that belongs to them and to you. Sessions from Portsmouth mostly run on secure video, letting you talk from home in Southsea or Cosham, near their photographs if that comforts you. A loss from last spring or from decades back is equally welcome here.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Portsmouth
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Portsmouth by car
- About 69 minutes with clear roads (48.4 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Portsmouth & Southsea to Hove.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
An island city where the reminders come unasked
Portsea Island is small and crowded, and after a death that can work against you.
The road up to Cosham passes Queen Alexandra Hospital, where you may have sat through their last days or waited for news that came too fast. The seafront at Southsea, the terraced streets of Fratton, the house in Copnor you're slowly clearing: the city keeps handing you reminders without warning. In a place this densely populated you're rarely on your own, yet grief can feel oddly private, because the neighbours have moved on and colleagues stopped asking weeks ago. In a naval family, the news might reach you while someone is at sea, or the person you most need beside you may still be away. A student at the University of Portsmouth can lose a parent a long way from home and be back in a seminar within the week. However the loss arrived, it's yours to carry in your own way.
No stages, no deadline, and nothing you can't say
Grief keeps no timetable, so we follow yours rather than a set of stages. In the first sessions you can simply tell me about the person: what they were like, how your days together went, what you keep wanting to tell them. Over the weeks other feelings tend to surface, and every one of them is welcome. There may be anger, at them, at the unfairness of it, or at people who said the wrong thing. There may be guilt about the last visit or the call you missed. If you nursed them through a long illness there may be relief, followed quickly by shame at feeling it. If the relationship was hard, you might be grieving what never happened as much as what has gone. When a death was sudden, or by suicide, we take things slowly and you choose what to put into words. Sometimes grief and drinking start leaning on each other, with an extra glass most evenings just to get to sleep. Recovery is something I know from my own life, so that pattern can be named openly here, and Portsmouth Recovery Hub offers further support with drinking alongside our sessions. The loss stays part of your life; these sessions give it somewhere to go each week.
Losses there is room for, from Southsea to Cosham
News that reached you at sea
If a death came while you or your partner were deployed from HMNB Portsmouth, you may have grieved late, far away or in fragments. Video sessions can fit around shore leave and sailing dates.
When the caring comes to an end
After years of looking after someone, their death can leave your days without a shape. Portsmouth Carers Service helps people still in the caring role across the city, and our hour each week can hold the grief that follows.
Last weeks at Queen Alexandra
If someone you love died at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Cosham, the road past it, or the smell of a ward, can bring it all back. You can go over those weeks at your own speed.
Bereaved halfway through a degree
Losing a parent or friend while studying at the University of Portsmouth can leave you behind on deadlines and out of step with housemates. An hour away from campus gives the grief space of its own.
Free bereavement support for Portsmouth
Anyone grieving can call Cruse Bereavement Support at no cost, using the number on this page. If the person you lost died by suicide, the Cruse Support After Suicide Service covers Portsmouth along with Southampton, Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. NHS Talking Therapies Portsmouth takes self-referrals for low mood or anxiety after a loss, Solent Mind runs the Portsmouth Wellbeing Centre, and Compass Counselling offers income-based sessions. Seeing me privately fits alongside whichever of these you use.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Portsmouth0300 123 3934Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itPortsmouth Recovery Hub023 9229 4573Run by The Society of St James (SSJ) with Inclusion. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationRebound Carer's GroupSupport for families and friends.
- Local organisationPortsmouth Carers Service (Portsmouth Carers Centre)
- Local organisationCompass Counselling Service
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
What people in Portsmouth ask before starting
Could it be too early, or have I left it too long, to see a bereavement counsellor from Portsmouth?
Neither. You might want to talk within weeks of the funeral, or only years later, when an anniversary, a house sale or another loss stirs it all up again. Grief has no deadline. Still undecided? Use the free 15-minute call to test whether this is the moment, and if it is, we'll agree a regular video slot that sits around your week in Portsmouth.
Where can I find free grief support in Portsmouth?
You can phone Cruse Bereavement Support free on 0808 808 1677, today if you need to. After a suicide, the Cruse Support After Suicide Service covers Portsmouth. If grief has turned into low mood or anxiety, NHS Talking Therapies Portsmouth accepts self-referrals on 0300 123 3934. Compass Counselling, at Portsmouth Central Library and online, sets its fees by income. Any of these can run alongside sessions with me.
Does grief counselling from Portsmouth have to mean travelling to Hove?
No. From Portsmouth, video is usually the practical choice, because Hove is more than an hour away by road. You can talk from your own sofa, with a photo or something of theirs nearby if you'd like. If you want to come to the room in Hove now and then, the direct train from Portsmouth and Southsea makes that straightforward, and a 90-minute session can make the trip worthwhile.
My dad died while I was deployed from Portsmouth. Can I still have bereavement counselling now?
Yes. Missing the last days, or the funeral, because you were away with the ship can leave grief that feels unfinished, with guilt threaded through it. You can talk about him and about being away, at your own pace, by video around your duties. If at any point you feel you can't go on, please tell me, and use the urgent help numbers on this page straight away.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Whenever you're ready, we can start with their name
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.