Reading · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Reading
When a person you love has died and Reading has simply carried on, you may want an hour each week that is only about them and about you. Driving to my Hove room takes around 100 minutes, so from Reading our bereavement sessions would normally run over secure video, with an occasional longer visit to Hove if you ever want one.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Reading
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Reading by car
- About 100 minutes with clear roads (81.3 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Loss in a busy Thames Valley town
Reading moves fast. The station is the second busiest interchange outside London, the business parks at Green Park and Thames Valley Park keep office hours, and the shops at The Oracle stay full whatever has happened in your week. That pace can make a death feel strangely invisible to everyone but you. Perhaps the last months were spent in and out of the Royal Berkshire Hospital, or sitting with someone at Sue Ryder Duchess of Kent Hospice, and now the visiting has stopped and the evenings are empty. Reading is also a town of many family histories, so the person you lost may have lived in another country, with a funeral you watched on a screen or flew out for and came back from alone. Students at Whiteknights lose parents too, sometimes with their family a long way from campus. Walking past Forbury Gardens or along the Kennet can bring the person back without warning.
Grief at your pace, with no stages to tick off
Bereavement counselling with me has no set order to follow and no point by which you ought to feel better. We begin with whatever is loudest for you: the hospital corridor, the last phone call, the paperwork, or the strange calm that has made you wonder whether you are grieving properly. Alongside sadness you might feel furious with the person, with the doctors or with yourself. You might feel guilty about a harsh word, or relieved that a long illness is over, and ashamed of the relief. If the relationship was complicated, or if you spent years caring for them, the grief can be knotted up with resentment and exhaustion, and that has a place here as well. A death by suicide brings its own questions, and we can hold those carefully. Sometimes a glass of wine at night has become a bottle since the funeral; with my own recovery and over a quarter of a century of practice behind me, we can talk about that plainly if it is part of your loss.
Losses Reading people bring to grief work
After a death on the ward
Weeks of visiting the Royal Berkshire Hospital can end suddenly, leaving the routine, the car park and the ward corridors running through your head long after the funeral.
When a hospice was involved
If your person was cared for by Sue Ryder Duchess of Kent Hospice, it is worth asking the hospice what it offers families afterwards, alongside any work with me.
Family in another country
In a town as diverse as Reading, a parent may die far away, and grieving across borders, time zones and different customs can feel very lonely.
The carer left behind
After years of caring, the Reading and West Berkshire Carers Partnership may still be a place to talk about what comes next once the caring role has ended.
Free bereavement support for Reading
Bereavement counselling with me can run alongside the free and low-cost help in Reading. Hope Counselling Service offers affordable counselling for adults, including after a bereavement, at 229 Kings Road. Sue Ryder Duchess of Kent Hospice cares for people at the end of life and their families. Cruse Bereavement Support offers a national helpline, and NHS Berkshire Talking Therapies accepts self-referrals from Reading residents whose grief has turned into anxiety or low mood.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Berkshire Talking Therapies0300 365 2000 (press option 2)Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itDrug & Alcohol Service Reading (Change Grow Live)0118 955 7333Free and confidential.
- Local organisationMind in Berkshire, Berkshire West servicesMental health charity.
- Local organisationBerkshire West Breathing Space (Together for Mental Wellbeing)
- Local organisationReading Samaritans
- Local organisationReading & West Berkshire Carers Partnership
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Berkshire Healthcare Crisis Resolution and Home Treatment Team is on 0800 129 9999.
What people in Reading ask before starting
Where can I get bereavement counselling in Reading without a long wait?
Hope Counselling Service on Kings Road offers affordable counselling that covers bereavement, and No5 Young People runs low-cost weekly sessions for adults. Reading callers can also reach Cruse Bereavement Support through its national helpline, 0808 808 1677. With me there is no waiting list: after a free call, you choose a weekly slot from the times I actually have open, and we start from there.
Is it too soon to look for grief counselling if the funeral in Reading was only last week?
It is never too soon or too late. Some people want to talk in the first raw days, others come a year or two on, when everyone else in Reading seems to have moved on. If you just want someone to hear what happened, that is a perfectly good reason to book, and we go only as far as you want each time.
Does video bereavement counselling feel too distant from Reading?
It usually feels closer than people expect. You are in your own home, perhaps with a photo or something of theirs nearby, and there is no 100-minute drive back from Hove once a session has stirred things up. If meeting in the room matters to you, we can put an occasional longer hour at Intergen House in the diary.
My dad died in another country and I'm grieving alone in Reading. Is that something we can work on together?
Losing a parent from a distance, and perhaps missing the funeral or the last days, often leaves grief with nowhere to land. We can talk about him, about the customs and family expectations around his death, and about the guilt of being far away. Should the distance and the grief ever make life feel unbearable, turn to the urgent help box on this page for people to call at once.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Begin with fifteen minutes about the person who died
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.