Tunbridge Wells · in person in Hove or online
Bereavement and grief counselling for Tunbridge Wells
After a death in the family, whether home is Mount Ephraim, Southborough, Hawkenbury or out towards Langton Green, grief counselling sets aside one steady hour each week in which the whole of that loss is allowed to be heard. We meet by secure video, or now and then in Hove, and there is no correct way of grieving for you to live up to.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Tunbridge Wells
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Tunbridge Wells by car
- About 58 minutes with clear roads (36.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Reminders on every corner, from the Pantiles to Pembury
Losing someone in a town you know well means the reminders are everywhere.
The bench in Calverley Grounds where the two of you used to sit. The walk across the Commons you always took together on a Sunday. The car park at Tunbridge Wells Hospital in Pembury, where you may have spent weeks of afternoons during a long illness, or a single night that changed everything. Neighbours in Rusthall or High Brooms mean well, yet after the funeral the cards and phone calls thin out while your own days stay just as strange. If you commute, the London train runs as if nothing has happened, and colleagues may quietly expect you to be back to yourself within a fortnight. In a town with a reputation for keeping up appearances, it can feel as though you ought to be coping by now. Grief keeps no such timetable, and nobody, least of all you, needs to hurry it along.
Room for anger, guilt and relief as well as sadness
Grief follows its own order, so we work with yours rather than a list of stages. Some weeks you may want to talk about the person: who they were, how they laughed, the things they used to say. Other weeks the hardest thing is anger, at the way things were handled, at a brother who stayed away, or at the person who died. Guilt often turns up too, over a last conversation or a decision you had to make about their care. Relief tends to be the emotion kept most secret, particularly by those who spent long months nursing a mother, father or spouse through a final illness, and you may voice it here just as freely as sorrow. When the relationship was a difficult one, or the death came through suicide, grief can be knotted up with questions that have no clean answer, and we take those slowly. If the evening glass of wine has been growing since the funeral, we can look at that gently as part of the grief, and I bring my own lived experience of recovery to that conversation. What we work towards is a way of carrying the loss that still lets you live, with your bond to the person you've lost kept intact.
Kinds of loss we can make room for
After the wards at Pembury
If the last weeks were spent visiting Tunbridge Wells Hospital, those corridors and car journeys can replay long after the funeral. Sessions give the memories somewhere to go besides the middle of the night.
When you were the carer
Losing the person you looked after, perhaps with help from Imago's Kent Carers Support along the way, also ends the role that filled your days. Relief, emptiness and guilt can all arrive together.
Grieving on the London line
Back at work after compassionate leave, holding it together on the train and letting go only once you reach home. An evening session by video can sit at the end of that commute.
Bereaved by suicide
A loss like this can leave questions that circle for a long time. We go at your pace, and the Cruse Bereavement Support helpline on 0808 808 1677 is there between sessions.
Free bereavement support for Tunbridge Wells
In town, The Counselling Centre at 49 Richmond Terrace offers grief work priced on a sliding scale, while Cruse Bereavement Support answers a free helpline for the whole country. NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway welcomes self-referrals across the borough when grief hardens into lasting low mood or anxiety. Low-cost counselling is also available through West Kent Mind, by video or in Sevenoaks. Our sessions can sit beside whichever of these you choose, at the same time or later on.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itWest Kent community drug and alcohol service (Change, Grow, Live)0330 128 1113Run by Change Grow Live (CGL). Free and confidential.
- Local organisationImago - Kent Carers Support (West Kent adult carers service)
- Local organisationWest Kent Mind Affordable Counselling
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Release the Pressure Helpline - Kent is on 0800 107 0160. Local drop-in crisis support: Kent and Medway Safe Havens (Mental Health Matters) (check opening times before you go).
What people in Tunbridge Wells ask before starting
How long after a death in Tunbridge Wells should I wait before seeing a grief counsellor?
The right moment is the one that feels right to you. You might want to talk in the first raw weeks, or you might wait until the funeral, the paperwork and the clearing of a house are done and the quiet sets in. Neither is too early or too late. A free 15-minute consultation will tell you when a first appointment might be available, and the decision can wait until you've had time to think it over.
Is there bereavement counselling at The Counselling Centre in Tunbridge Wells?
Yes, the centre's entry in the NHS service directory lists bereavement counselling alongside individual and couples work. It is a BACP-accredited charity at 49 Richmond Terrace on London Road, charging on a sliding scale after an initial assessment, and you can ring them on 01892 548750. Cruse Bereavement Support also has a free national helpline. Seeing them, seeing me, or both, is entirely your choice.
Can grief counselling work over video when I'm in Tunbridge Wells?
Yes. Talking about someone you've lost from your own home, perhaps with their photograph nearby, can feel easier than sitting in an unfamiliar room. Afterwards you can stay in your chair with a cup of tea rather than facing the 58-minute drive back from Hove. If meeting face to face matters, a 90 or 120-minute session in Hove from time to time can sit alongside the video work.
My mum died in Tunbridge Wells after years of me caring for her, and part of me feels relieved. Is that wrong?
Relief after a long illness sits beside love; it doesn't cancel it. After years of hospital trips, broken nights and constant watchfulness, part of you may simply register that the strain is over. Guilt often follows close behind. In sessions you can say all of it out loud and be met without judgement. If guilt turns into thoughts of ending your life, ring the Release the Pressure Helpline on 0800 107 0160 now, or see the urgent help box on this page.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Start by telling me who you've lost
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.