Maidstone · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Maidstone
When a death has emptied a home in Bearsted, Allington, Tovil or anywhere along the Medway in Maidstone, bereavement counselling offers you one unhurried hour each week to talk about the person and about the life you are living now. We would meet by secure video from your home, and you set the pace, with no stages to get through.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Maidstone
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Maidstone by car
- About 78 minutes with clear roads (64.4 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Maidstone East, change at London Victoria for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Grieving in the town where you said goodbye
After a death, Maidstone can seem full of the person you've lost.
Perhaps you drove up Hermitage Lane to Maidstone Hospital every afternoon for weeks, or went there once, late at night, and came home without them. Perhaps the loop round Mote Park was the walk you always took together, or the funeral was at All Saints' Church, and now you find reasons to avoid that part of town. A Saturday in Fremlin Walk can bring you face to face with someone who hasn't heard, so you have to say it all again. If you work at County Hall or anywhere with a full diary, compassionate leave runs out long before the grief does, and colleagues may take your return to your desk as a sign that you're over it. Relatives scattered between Shepway, Barming and further afield may mourn in different ways and at different speeds, and the distance between you can hurt as well. None of this means you are grieving wrongly.
Talking about them, and about everything else you feel
There is no list of stages to work through with me, and no date by which you ought to feel better. Each week we start from wherever you are. Sometimes that means telling me about the person: the way they answered the phone, the arguments over directions, the plans that now have nobody to share them. Sometimes it means the feelings that are harder to voice in front of family. Anger at a doctor, at a sister who didn't visit, or at the person for leaving. Guilt about the last thing you said, or didn't. Relief too, if the death ended a long illness or a relationship that hurt you, and saying so here takes nothing away from how much you cared. A sudden death and an expected one leave different marks, and losing a parent is not the same as losing a partner, so we pay attention to what this particular loss has taken from your life. After a suicide, we move at the gentlest pace of all, and the details of how they died stay yours to share or keep. Sometimes drinking creeps up after a funeral as a way of getting through the evenings. I have lived experience of recovery, and we can look at that honestly and without blame, as part of the grief. The work is towards living alongside the loss, with the person still a part of your life.
Particular griefs, and the Maidstone places tied to them
After the weeks on Hermitage Lane
If the last part of their life was spent at Maidstone Hospital, the corridors, the car park and the call from the ward can return at odd hours. We can talk them through as often as you need.
Caring, then suddenly not
When the person you looked after dies, your days lose their shape as well. Imago supports carers across West Kent, and counselling can make room for the emptiness, guilt or relief that follows.
A loss in a military family
For families connected to Invicta Park Barracks, a death can arrive in the middle of a posting or a move. Video sessions can carry on from wherever you end up living.
When the death was a suicide
Questions without answers can keep circling for months. We take them slowly, and Cruse Bereavement Support's helpline, 0808 808 1677, is free to call on the days between our sessions.
Free bereavement support for Maidstone
Anyone grieving in Maidstone can ring the Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, which costs nothing to call. Should the weeks since the funeral bring a flatness or worry that stays, NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway welcomes self-referrals from Maidstone. Mid Kent Mind holds drop-ins and groups at its Wellbeing Centre on College Road, along with lower-cost counselling, and Imago supports adult carers in West Kent. Our sessions can sit beside any of these.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyNHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway0333 091 0414Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itWest Kent community drug and alcohol service (Change, Grow, Live)0330 128 1113Run by Change Grow Live (CGL). Free and confidential.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
Locally, the Release the Pressure Helpline - Kent is on 0800 107 0160. Local drop-in crisis support: Kent and Medway Safe Havens (Mental Health Matters) (check opening times before you go).
What people in Maidstone ask before starting
Is there free bereavement support in Maidstone, or is it all private?
Cruse Bereavement Support has a free national helpline, open to anyone in Maidstone who is grieving. Mid Kent Mind Affordable Counselling is a lower-cost option after a telephone assessment, for adults with low to medium need who aren't already seeing a counsellor. If grief has settled into long months of low mood or anxiety, you may self-refer, at no cost, into NHS Talking Therapies Kent and Medway.
Would grief counselling from Maidstone be on screen, or should I plan trips to Hove?
Video is the usual way from Maidstone. Talking about someone who has died can leave you tired and tender, and staying put at home afterwards is kinder than a 78-minute drive home from the coast. If you would like to meet in person at some point, a 90 or 120-minute session in Hove can be arranged alongside the weekly video work.
My dad died at Maidstone Hospital and I keep going back over his last days. Would talking it over with you help?
Yes. Replaying the final days, the decisions and the conversations, is something grief often does, especially after time spent on a hospital ward. In sessions you can go over it out loud, at your own pace, with someone who won't hurry you towards an answer. Should replaying his last days ever bring thoughts of ending your own life, turn at once to the urgent help listed on this page.
My wife died in Maidstone only a few weeks ago. Is it too early to see a bereavement counsellor?
Not if talking feels right to you now. Some people want to talk in the first raw weeks, and others wait until the funeral is over and the house has gone quiet. There is no wrong moment and no referral needed. During the free 15-minute call you'll hear which weekly video times I can offer, and there is no rush to say yes.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
When you're ready, tell me about them
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.