Lewisham · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Lewisham
When a person you love has died and home is Lewisham, bereavement counselling gives the loss one unhurried hour a week while the borough carries on at full speed outside. We meet by secure video, you set the pace, and sadness, anger, guilt or relief are all welcome in the conversation.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Lewisham
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Lewisham by car
- About 85 minutes with clear roads (65.5 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Lewisham, change at London Bridge for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Grieving in a town that keeps moving
After a death, Lewisham doesn't slow down for you.
The trains still pour through the interchange, the market traders still call out their prices, and the shopping centre is as crowded on the Saturday after the funeral as it was the week before. That can feel almost insulting, or oddly comforting, or both on the same afternoon. Perhaps the last weeks were spent on a ward at University Hospital Lewisham, and now the walk along the high street takes you past the place where so much happened. Perhaps they were the one who knew everyone on the market, and you can't yet face the stallholders asking where they've been. If your family has lived in this corner of what was once Kent for generations, the loss may run through Catford, Hither Green and Lee Green at once, with every relative leaning on you. And if you came to Goldsmiths from somewhere else, you may be grieving a death back home among people who never met them.
What we do with the hour, week by week
Grief counselling with me has no stages to tick off and no point at which you ought to be over it. Early on, you may simply want to tell the story: who they were, how the news reached you, the days around the funeral. Later the harder feelings tend to come forward. You might be furious with them, with the hospital, with a brother who never visited. You might feel guilty about a decision you made, or relieved after months of caring, and then ashamed of the relief. All of that belongs here. If the relationship was a complicated one, we can hold the love and the hurt side by side, because a parent who let you down can still leave a gap. Where someone has died by suicide, the questions it leaves can be spoken about plainly, at whatever pace you can bear. Grief and drinking sometimes get tangled, the bottle opened to get through the evenings or the drink you always shared together. Having been in recovery myself, I'll hear that without judgement, and we can look at it gently. Some weeks are full of talking, and some are mostly quiet, and both count.
Where grief catches you out in Lewisham
The ward on the high street
If you sat with someone through their final days at University Hospital Lewisham, going past it can stop you in your tracks. Those days can be talked through, slowly.
When the caring suddenly stops
Years of looking after someone can end overnight, taking your routine with it. Carers Lewisham supports carers in the borough, including anyone still caring for another relative.
A death back home during term
Studying at Goldsmiths while grieving someone far away can leave you split in two. Sessions by video carry on whether you're in New Cross or back with family.
Working again too soon
Back on the DLR to Canary Wharf, or the train to Cannon Street, before you feel ready. An evening session gives the grief somewhere to go after a day of holding it in.
Free bereavement support for Lewisham
For grief itself, the Cruse Bereavement Support helpline is free to ring on 0808 808 1677, and our sessions can run beside it. If the loss has left you low or anxious for a long stretch, Lewisham Talking Therapies accepts self-referrals. Quaggy Community Counselling Service, based at Orchard Hill in SE13, sees adults living in Lewisham or Greenwich for a small fee, and Lewisham, Greenwich and Southwark Samaritans, whose branch is in New Cross SE14, will listen day or night.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyLewisham Talking Therapies020 3228 1350Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itNew Direction drug and alcohol recovery service (Lewisham)020 8314 5566Run by Change Grow Live (CGL). Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCarers Lewisham
- Local organisationLewisham Outreach Service (Together for Mental Wellbeing), Lewisham VCSE Cooperative
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
The South London NHS Mental Health Crisis Text Service (SLaM) is another option: WhatsApp 0303 330 1511 or text 80991.
What people in Lewisham ask before starting
Is there free bereavement support in Lewisham while I wait for counselling?
Yes. Cruse Bereavement Support's helpline on 0808 808 1677 is free, and if grief has turned into low mood or anxiety, Lewisham Talking Therapies takes self-referrals on 020 3228 1350. Over at Orchard Hill, the Quaggy Community Counselling Service offers low-fee sessions for adults aged 18 and over who live in Greenwich or Lewisham. Private grief counselling with me can start alongside any of these, with no referral needed.
Can grief counselling from Lewisham happen over video?
Yes, and from Lewisham that is how we'd usually meet, because the Hove room is around 85 minutes' drive away. Talking about someone who has died from your own sofa, with their photo nearby if you like, can feel easier than in an unfamiliar room. A session in Hove can be arranged if you'd ever like to sit across from me in person.
My dad died at University Hospital Lewisham and I keep going over the last days. Is that normal?
Going back over the end again and again is very common, especially when there were decisions to make or moments you wish had gone differently. It isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. In counselling we can walk through those days at your pace, so the memories have somewhere to land other than three in the morning.
How soon can I start bereavement counselling in Lewisham, and what if I'm struggling to go on?
Book the free 15-minute call, say a sentence or two about who has died, and I'll tell you honestly when a weekly slot is free. If grief brings thoughts of not wanting to go on, get in touch with help that same day, ahead of any session with me: the NHS crisis text line for south London takes messages on WhatsApp at 0303 330 1511 or by text to 80991, and the urgent help box on this page lists more.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Tell me about them, whenever you're ready
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.