Eastbourne · in person in Hove or online
Bereavement and grief counselling for Eastbourne
If someone has died and Eastbourne feels different without them, bereavement counselling gives you a regular, unhurried hour to talk about them and about how you are. There are no stages to pass through and no deadline to meet. Sessions run on secure video, or in person at my Hove room, a 45-minute drive west from Eastbourne.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Eastbourne
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Eastbourne by car
- About 45 minutes with clear roads (27.2 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- Direct trains from Eastbourne to Brighton; change there for Hove, one stop.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Being the one left in a town chosen together
Eastbourne has long-established retirement communities, so losing a husband, wife or partner of many years is a loss that a lot of households here eventually meet, and yet it can feel as though you are the only one.
People are kind around the funeral, then life on your road in Meads or Ratton carries on while you are still setting out two cups by habit. If you moved here as a pair for the sea and the quiet, the places you chose together, the pier, the Towner, the walk out to Sovereign Harbour, can be hard to visit alone. Grief arrives from other directions too. You might be a son or daughter living elsewhere, driving down to sort out a parent's flat and finding their whole life still laid out in it. Or you might be one of the younger people who have moved into town, losing a parent at an age when none of your friends has been through it yet.
Grief that is allowed to be messy
Grief doesn't move through tidy stages, and I won't ask yours to. Some weeks you may want to tell me about the person: how they laughed, what they'd have said about the wind on the front. Other weeks it's anger, at them for going, at the way things were handled, at family who stopped phoning once the funeral was over. Guilt often comes too, about a last conversation or a decision you had to make near the end. If you spent a long stretch caring, relief can sit beside the sadness, and that is common and nothing to be ashamed of. A death after a difficult relationship brings its own tangle, such as mourning someone you had mixed feelings about, or the parent you never quite had. When someone has taken their own life, the questions can feel endless, and we take them as slowly as you need. Sometimes an evening drink starts doing the job of company, or of sleep, and because I have my own experience of recovery you can say so plainly. There is no date by which you should be over it. The aim is to help you carry the loss in a way that lets the rest of your life back in.
Some of the shapes grief takes here
After a death at the hospital
When someone died at Eastbourne District General Hospital, after a stay on a ward or a night in the emergency department, and the corridors, Kings Drive and that last conversation keep replaying.
When the caring stops
Years of looking after a partner or parent at home, then sudden silence and no routine. Care for the Carers may be a familiar name from those years; our hour is for the grief itself.
News from home while studying
Studying at one of the town's language schools when word comes that someone back home has died, and grieving in a second language, far from family and the rituals that would hold you.
A widower keeping it in
Losing your wife after decades and finding the evenings the hardest part. Mankind's weekly peer group meets in Eastbourne, and a private hour gives you somewhere to say the rest.
Free bereavement support for Eastbourne
Wherever in East Sussex you live, the Cruse Bereavement Support helpline is free to ring when the grief is heavy. In Eastbourne, The Old Bank Wellbeing Trust on Brassey Avenue offers counselling with bursaries for people on low or no income, and Sussex Community Counselling (SCDA) has lower-cost sessions in the town. When anxiety or heaviness lingers after a loss, Health in Mind, Eastbourne's NHS Talking Therapies provider, takes self-referrals. Our private hour can run next to whichever of these helps.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyHealth in Mind0300 0030 130Free NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itSTAR Drug and Alcohol Service (East Sussex STAR)0300 303 8160Run by Change Grow Live. Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCare for the Carers
- Local organisationEastbourne and District SamaritansLocal Samaritans branch.
Private counselling with me can run alongside any of these; you do not have to choose one or the other.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
In this area you can also text SUSSEX to 85258.
What people in Eastbourne ask before starting
Where can I get free grief support in Eastbourne after a death?
Anyone grieving can ring the free national helpline run by Cruse Bereavement Support, on 0808 808 1677. The Old Bank Wellbeing Trust in Eastbourne, on 01323 502827, has a bursary scheme for people on little or no income. Should low mood or anxiety follow the death, you can phone Health in Mind yourself on 0300 0030 130; it runs NHS Talking Therapies across East Sussex, Eastbourne included.
Is it too early, or too late, to look for bereavement counselling from Eastbourne?
Neither. There is no right moment, only the one when you feel ready. You might want to talk in the first weeks, while arrangements are still being made, or a year or more later, when everyone else assumes you're fine. Book the free 15-minute call when it suits you, and if we go ahead, the first session can be on video, so there's no trip to Hove to plan.
My mum died in Eastbourne and I live elsewhere. Can I have bereavement counselling by video?
Yes. Video works from wherever you live, so you can talk to me from home rather than travelling down. Grieving at a distance carries its own weight: guilt about not being there more, weekends spent clearing her flat, and a town that was hers and now feels strange. All of that belongs in our sessions, alongside the loss itself.
Someone I love in Eastbourne took their own life. Can grief counselling help?
Yes. Grief after suicide often carries extra weight, with questions that have no answers, anger, guilt, and worry about what others think. We go at the pace you set, and you never have to give details you don't want to. Should thoughts of ending your own life come, ring Samaritans on 116 123 or another number from the urgent help box here straight away, and let me know as well.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
Talk about the person you've lost, when you're ready
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.