Brentwood · online by video, with the Hove room for occasional sessions
Bereavement and grief counselling for Brentwood
When someone you love has died, reminders can be all over Brentwood: a favourite bench on Shenfield Common, the drive past the station, an empty chair at home. A weekly hour of grief counselling leaves room for them, and for you. Hove being 89 minutes away by car, we would mostly meet on secure video from somewhere familiar, with the room open to you now and then.
If you are thinking about ending your life, call 999 or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night. More urgent help is on this page.
The practical facts for Brentwood
- Where sessions happen
- A private room at Intergen House, 65-67 Western Road, Hove BN3 2JQ, or secure video.
- From Brentwood by car
- About 89 minutes with clear roads (72.9 miles); longer at busy times.
- By train
- From Brentwood, change at Farringdon: Elizabeth line from Brentwood to Farringdon for trains towards Brighton and Hove.
- Free bereavement helpline
- Cruse Bereavement Support helpline, 0808 808 1677
- Fees
- £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90, £120 for 120. The first 15-minute call is free.
- Registration
- BACP registered member, no. 109340 (check the register); UKCP student member in advanced psychotherapy training.
Hospital runs, quiet houses and the chatty benches
Sometimes grief arrives at the end of a long stretch of caring.
You may have spent months driving a parent to appointments at Brentwood Community Hospital on Crescent Drive, or sitting with a husband or wife in the care of Saint Francis Hospice, whose catchment takes in Brentwood. When that care ends, so does the routine that filled your days, and a house in Hutton or Ingrave can feel very quiet. Other losses come without warning: a sudden death on an ordinary weekday, or a phone call about a parent who lived far away, taken on the Elizabeth line into work. Grief in a busy, outwardly settled town can be lonely in its own way, because people may stop asking after the first few weeks. The council put up chatty benches around the borough to ease isolation, and for a widow or widower walking past Weald Country Park alone, a few words with a stranger can matter more than anyone realises.
Grief work with no stages and no deadline
Grief follows no set order, so we begin wherever you happen to be. That might be the person themselves, the life you built together and the small habits nobody else knew. It might be the final weeks, if those keep replaying at night. Anger is welcome here, whether it points at them, at the illness, at the hospital or at yourself. So is guilt about what went unsaid, and the relief that can come once a long illness is over, which often brings guilt of its own. If the relationship was a difficult one, grief can be knotted up with old hurt, and we can loosen it slowly. After a death by suicide the questions can circle endlessly, and we can stay with them without pressing for answers. If you were the main carer, your week may have lost its whole shape. Sometimes an evening drink quietly becomes the way through. I know recovery from the inside and have more than 25 years of listening behind me, so you can tell me honestly how much you are drinking, and where it has become something bigger, Open Road Adult Drug and Alcohol Service (Essex) gives free specialist help from its Chelmsford and Basildon centres. Together we look for a way to carry the loss so the rest of life can go on around it, at a pace that is yours.
Kinds of loss that Brentwood families carry
After hospice care ends
Saint Francis Hospice offers counselling, support groups and help for carers and loved ones, and our weekly sessions can sit beside that support or follow on from it.
Specialist help from St Luke's
St Luke's Hospice in Basildon provides specialist bereavement support, another free option for Brentwood families to use alongside or instead of private sessions.
When caring was your life
Carers First is there for adult carers throughout Essex. Once the person you looked after has died, the shapeless days and tangled feelings that follow have room in our hour.
Widowed in a busy town
Losing a partner can leave long, quiet afternoons. The Monday Community Café at Merrymeade House, run by Brentwood CVS, is one gentle place to be among people again.
Free bereavement support for Brentwood
Our sessions can run alongside free bereavement help near Brentwood. St Luke's Hospice in Basildon provides specialist bereavement support, and Saint Francis Hospice offers counselling and support groups to the families of people in its care, with a catchment that covers Brentwood. The Essex Community Tree Network lists local bereavement organisations, and Samaritans of Chelmsford and Mid Essex answer the phone at any hour.
- Free bereavement helplineCruse Bereavement Support helpline0808 808 1677Free, from trained volunteers. Open Monday and Wednesday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm, Tuesday 1pm to 8pm.
- Free NHS talking therapyMid Essex Talking TherapiesFree NHS talking therapy for low mood or anxiety that has settled in after a loss. You can refer yourself, with no GP referral needed.
- If drinking or drug use is part of itOpen Road Adult Drug and Alcohol Service (Essex)Chelmsford centre 01245 284772; Basildon centre 01268 531435Free and confidential.
- Local organisationCarers First (Essex adult carer support service)
- Local organisationBrentwood CVS, Merrymeade House Community and Wellbeing HubBrentwood's local voluntary-sector support charity.
If someone at home is hurting, threatening or controlling you, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, day or night, on 0808 2000 247.
If you need urgent help now
If you need help right now, please don't wait for a session.
What people in Brentwood ask before starting
Where can I find bereavement support in Brentwood itself?
Thurrock and Brentwood Mind keeps its hub at 2 The Keys in Great Warley open on weekdays for information and support, and the Essex Community Tree Network's Brentwood page lets you search organisations by bereavement. St Luke's Hospice in Basildon also offers specialist bereavement support. If you would like regular one-to-one time as well, we can begin with a short free call.
Saint Francis Hospice is already supporting my family in Brentwood. Can I see you as well?
Yes. What Saint Francis Hospice offers and private counselling with me can sit together, or one can take over when the other ends. You might use the hospice groups for company and keep a weekly hour with me for what is hard to say in a group. We simply make sure the two fit together rather than pull against each other.
Would grieving sessions mean the long trip from Brentwood down to the coast?
Usually not. Getting to Hove means about 89 minutes in the car round the M25, so our sessions mostly happen on secure video from your own home, with a photograph of them beside you if that helps. Once we have spoken on the free call, we fix a regular weekly slot, and a longer appointment in Hove can be set aside for any day when being in the same room feels important.
My husband died last year and I still avoid Thorndon Country Park, where we walked. Is that okay?
Grief keeps no timetable, and steering clear of a place you shared is one of the ways it can show itself. We can talk about him, about those walks, and about whether, when and how you might want to go back, at a pace you choose. Thorndon Country Park will still be there whenever you feel ready, and grief sets no date by which you should have moved on.
How much do sessions cost, and is the first call free?
Sessions are £80 for 60 minutes, £100 for 90 minutes and £120 for 120 minutes, the same in person in Hove or by video. The first 15-minute call is free, with no obligation to book. There is no NHS referral needed to see me privately.
When you're ready to talk about them, start with a call
When you feel ready, a short conversation is the easiest way to see whether we are a good fit. There is no obligation.